Friday, January 13, 2017

I'm Emotionally Drained.

Good evening Amara, I'm J** by name, married with three kids, although the first isn't for my hubby, had him in my teens. 
I met my hubby in 2002 in Absu, although he didn't finish but I did. We dated for almost ten years and got married in 2011, na here wahala start.
At first I thought it was a mistake but no, if he is not hitting, he is demoralizing me emotionally. 
Before I took in in 2013, it was one problem or the other, I got pregnant and the problem escalated. My first pregnancy for him in marriage was rough especially the first four months, and I was just too lazy to work or keep the house clean and he capitalized on it and sold me out to his people that I was lazy which was a confirmation by the dad because he said whenever I visit while we were still dating, his dad said I don't do house chores. I didn't know he made this statement till after I was married. 
My issue is E*** is so immature, any small issue either he wants to beat me up or he calls my parents to tell them to come take their daughter, that he is no more interested. Sister I can't put into writing all I've been going through, financially I've helped and provided more than he has, yet when he has money and we have a fight he withholds cash, in fact he cooks the food we eat, he goes to the market and buys food stuff, or is it him telling me he is horny that he will pay me for sex that he wants to have. 
He has cheated so many times and I forgave him, the first and second house rent after marriage was paid by my parents, he didn't have a job and I didn't too. Got a job after we married  and he started complaining that I was coming back late, it was a hotel where I was the chief cook, I stopped because I had to go for my masters which I finally concluded last year.
Financially he hasn't been of help, but he doesn't appreciate my little efforts especially in area of finance, even though I don't work because of the program I went for. He insults me and my family especially my mum who has been of immense help financially to him, us and me. 
All this write up is that I want to just go somewhere, in fact if I can leave Lagos I don't mind, to clear my head. I just rented a shop in November, no financial help from him oh. I need your advice, so many episodes that I can't put down. I have locked him up before because he beat me and I was two months pregnant for my last baby whom he told me to abort because he categorically said his girlfriend was pregnant and he wasn't ready to father two children at that time. He beat me to a point I started bleeding until it stopped at four months. 
I'm emotionally drained. I have asked God what is happening, what I should do but everywhere is silent. Please advice. Thanks.

It's time for you to take a break from your marriage, you really need some time to meditate and examine all you have been through in your marriage. 
You need some time with yourself and your maker to help you decide the best way to resolve the challenges in your marriage or maybe decide what's best for you at this point in your marriage. 
Living with a man who constantly abuse you physically and emotionally can bring out the worst in you, and may affect you psychologically and mentally. 
I believe that separation will help both of you work on the differences in your marriage and perhaps help you decide whether to continue with the marriage or to move on with your life.

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