Sunday, January 22, 2017

Should I be Patient or Ignore Her?

Good day Ma
I have been following your posts carefully and seen the positive impact you're having on humanity in general and I'd be crazy to miss out on much a blessing like you especially as I'm in a bit of uncertainty.

I have been seeing a girl for two months now. I'm a 23 years old medical student in 5th year while she's 21 years in second year in university.

Right from the moment we met she told me she was dating. So I was lukewarm towards her for about a full month. But recently, about three weeks ago, she has gradually warmed up to me to the extent that we speak on phone almost every night. For long periods too. Over two hours, every single time. And she's mostly the one to initiate the call.

She keeps telling me to be patient with her anytime I remind her I love her because she's dating. Honestly ma, I love this girl. And I'm very positive that God willing, she'd be my wife when I'm done schooling. She knows this and almost every time she talks of our future together and how our home will be like; number of kids etc. She even gave me money on one occasion I really needed it and doesn't want it back. She took a genuine interest in knowing my family as well. I also realised she's not materialistic, the least as she always tells me to keep my money if I try buying her anything. So in my mind, she was probably shifting her focus from her boyfriend to me.

Just yesterday I met her and with her permission, went through her phone. I was sending one of her pictures to my phone via WhatsApp and in the process I saw a chat of her and her boyfriend. The guy was ignoring her and she was repeatedly checking on him and reminding him how much she loved him and all that.

I didn't argue or fight with her though. I didn't even let her see that I saw it. I gave her a flimsy excuse that I'll have to be at the hospital ward and left. All my thoughts now are filled with cutting all ties with her because she was probably using me to while time away as she tried to make it up to her boyfriend.
I'm wondering why she was doing her best to keep hold on me even as she was trying to patch things up with her boyfriend.
But I must reiterate that she has never repeated 'I love you' to me if I say it to her. She keeps saying I should be patient.

What do I do Ma? Be patient? Even in the face of this evidence that she still wants her boyfriend?
Or do I ignore her?
I love her alright -like very very much- but I'm equally hurt that she seems to still have her interest away from me

In all sincerity you are the one who exposed yourself to the pains you're experiencing in this relationship. 
She was honest and sincere to you when you approached her for relationship, but you felt that you could be a sweet distraction to her relationship. 
Well, now that you know about her desire to be with her boyfriend, I will suggest that you give her some space and terminate your relationship with her. 
You can only demand for her faithfulness and commitment when she's single and emotionally available for a relationship, and not when she's dating her boyfriend. 

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