Friday, February 24, 2017

I've Thought of Suicide Many Times.

Dear ma, please ma, I'll keep it as short as I can; I need prayers and encouragement. I'm having a lot of relationship problems. I've had several disappointments. I'm tired of crying (I'm crying as I type this), I've been so depressed I've not been able to continue my masters program.
I'm almost 24 years old, a virgin, I'm beautiful ;most people never guess I'm single because of that. I'm from a poor family but by the grace of God, I worked hard, got a scholarship and I'm a graduate now. I stayed till I was almost 21 before I got into my first relationship, it was terrible even though we both believed it was the will of God (other people confirmed it too), my other relationships after that were also unhappy. My friends and family think I'm too soft for guys and I think they're right, but this is just how I am. I don't believe in playing games, but I feel because I seem so devoted, men take me for granted.
My last relationship ended few days ago; honestly sister, I gave my all, financially ( I supported him, his family, etc, to the extent of giving almost all the money I have; I don't know how to ask men for money, I've never had much so I don't know how to live large), emotionally, everything; he was nice in the beginning, I told him about my past relationships and he promised I would never have that experience again, but here I am, again.
I don't know if I'm cursed (all the women in my family hardly get married or if they do, it usually doesn't last, including my mum). His ex cheated on him, yet he sent her to university, got her a car and flat, and still was begging her when she left him for another guy, but me who's supportive, never cheat, give my all, I'm taken for granted.
Aunty I'm in so much pains, I feel like I've ruined my life because I've been too depressed to focus on my degree or work. Aunty, please pray that God will strengthen me, I need encouragement, I don't want to tell anyone about my problems again, I'm too tired and ashamed. I don't know how to move forward, I've thought of suicide many times, but my mum has high BP and I feel sorry for her.
Please help.

I will certainly pray for you, but before I pray I need to talk some sense into your head. 
I took my time to go through your profile, you're not just beautiful, you're damn gorgeous and adorable. You've got a beauty that you can't find anywhere else on earth, and to imagine that you're also hardworking, focused, and full of virtue makes you a priceless gift from God to any man that is privileged to marry you. 
Beautiful lady, never you ever think of suicide because of any man who goes to toilet or for any man born of a woman. Under no circumstances should you lose your essence of living because a man doesn't appreciate your value and personality in life. It is not love, certainly not what you deserve, and sincerely not what you need in your life. 
Feeling ashamed, tired, depressed, and thinking of committing suicide are all pointing to one thing, that you have lost yourself and you feel worthless without a man. Now I will help remind you of who you are. 
You are a precious seed that God himself brought to your family, placed your mother on a nine months assignment to bring you to the world, and compelled her with love to watch over you till you knew your left hand from your right hand. 
You are a favoured child who in spite of your financial and family background had the privilege to receive a scholarship, and is currently running your masters programme. 
You are a virtuous lady who blesses everyone who comes into your life, supports everyone around you, loves selflessly, and desires the best in those around you. That is not being soft for guys, that's the well of love flowing out of your heart to bless anyone who comes into your life. 
You need to understand one thing in life, humans will always be humans, some desire passionately for someone like you, while someone else is abusing your beautiful heart because he feels that he is doing you a favour by dating you. While you may love someone, there's no guarantee that such an individual will love you in the manner you love them. 
It's painful and depressing to lose the one you love, especially after investing your heart and resources on them, but you must bounce back and realise that though things may not have worked as you planned them, God is at work to perfect all that concerns you. 
Finally, you need to surrender everything to God, and press on to greater heights in your career, purpose, passion, and in your vision in life. Don't allow anyone to change your good heart, or perceive yourself as a cursed lady, instead focus on becoming a better lady, and challenge yourself to greatness.
God is not dead, I may not be able to tell you what he has in store for you but I assure you that God is preparing someone for your journey. You cry today because you're looking at what happened yesterday, but if you can see what God is preparing for your tomorrow, if you can perceive God's intentions for your marriage, if you can imagine what God saved you from, you will definitely rejoice with great joy. 
Heartbreak sometimes may be God's way of blessing you with his best for your life. Heartbreak maybe God's way of distorting your perfect plans so that he can perfect his purpose for your life. 
Look up with great hope and expectations, and allow God to take charge of your relationship life, you will definitely come back to testify to God's glory. 
Lord I pray that you will heal your precious daughter, and bless her with a man who will love you so much that he will never hurt your daughter in all his endeavours in Jesus name amen.


  1. Honestly, my heart sink deep whenever i hear ladies having issues with men. I just have dat deep thought of were are single and not seeing d right girls in my life, and yet some good and innocent keep complaining of bad guys..hmmm...well sister God is in control and will give u ur heart desires. Honestly it still baffles me.. But come oo..aunty amara u need to do sumtin about dis bico.. Only if dis site can link us u no problem..Well wishing are all d best life gat to offer.. And please bae dont considered suicide oo..just remember dat dere are gud guys out dere waiting to meet a lady like u.. #me_inclusive.. So please brace up and face ur challenge bekus dey will come and dats means u av a beta future ahead..if u take d lead.. (But u forgot to put ur contact nah.).lolzzz...brace up..God b with U...whatsapp..if u need a friend..atleast i can b dat..07038618832

  2. Aunty Amara take note ......I dnt kno hw to speak grammar bt i wud Luv to meet n chat with her plsss ma...+2348021291701

  3. I felt like crying when i was going through your write-up, i wish i can proffer a perfect advice but Aunty has said it all. My beloved, you are perfect like your heavenly Father, you are vivacious, you are beautiful, you are every young man's dream. Please dont talk like that again, no man who knows your worth and value will ever in his right thinking mind humiliate or maltreat you because you are a priceless jewel and a rare gem. Be yourself and focus, God has just saved you from something that would have consumed you sooner than you can imagine. I believe that when one door closes, another opens but often times, we keep looking at the closed door and become oblivion of the new door that has opened. You a gift, a most precious gift to humanity darling......

  4. Aunty Amara thanks for this Advice. It ministered to me as well.


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