Thursday, February 2, 2017

Rejoinder: Her Family Rejected Me!

Happy New month ma!! Am the girl that is loved by an amazing guy with a heart of Gold. I kinda feel a little uncomfortable writing here; at first when I read my fiancé's post here, I wasn't sure how to react ( or ) but then I was touched and because I know he is the kind of person that expresses love in a crazy way (that's why I can't stop loving him *smiles*),
it just made me love him more. Read»» Her Family Rejected Me!
I am writing to you because he's so concerned about my state of mind and is eager to help me by getting you to talk to me. Already, he has narrated my ordeal so far to you. I arrived at my elder sister's place yesterday, at first the idea was to go and never come back but a wise woman advised me that it is not the best option.
Funny enough, a woman I don't know and have never spoken to before that sat close me to me in the bus on my way to Port Harcourt out of nowhere told me "don't worry, everything will be fine" that alone and the counsel I have received so far from my fiancé and loved ones shows that God is on my case.
I love my man a lot, just the way people are asking on their comment in his post if this kind of love exists, I too wonder sometimes if it is for real because am overwhelmed by his love and that of his family and can't wait to be part of it and swimming in it already; that is probably why I was hurt at the thought of losing it all that made me start to wondering maybe fate has made it this way.
Aunty Amara, the truth is I have no idea the next step to take except to pray and be patient and keep hoping that there will be a change. As you already know, this is the second time am facing this challenge, am naturally a positive person but I will be a liar if I tell you that this situation is not affecting me psychologically. Please ma talk to me.
Please ma, it is important for everyone to know that "my aunties" are actually the moms I know and has made a lot of sacrifices for me and my siblings and have been there for us and I will forever respect, love, and be grateful to them. Just that they don't realize that am making my decisions because I want to live a happy life which I know is what they want for me too. I know their actions are out of love, but it's just been displayed in a wrong way which I will continually pray for them for their minds to be renewed. Please no one should speak ill of them, if you have done so already kindly go and delete it please. I will forever love them.

Our families are integral part of our existence, no matter what happens in life, our families remain constant. They may have their own imperfections, shortcomings, challenges and sometimes varied opinions but it doesn't make them bad individuals nor does it give us reasons to disrespect them.
I had to start off this way because of your sensitivity to your family, I will try my possible best not to offend you while I share my thoughts and suggestions on this.
Your partner explained all I needed to learn about your relationship, but I insisted that you write to me to be sure that both of you share the same vision for your relationship. Thank you for considering my request, I am grateful.
I thank God who used your aunties to support you and your siblings when the Lord took your mum home. For them to sacrifice, invest, and give their all to seeing you and your siblings become great ladies that men desire for a wife shows that they truly have good intentions for you and your siblings.
But you see, when it comes to making a very sensitive decision especially one that has to do with who you wish to settle down with as your husband, and a man that you wish to spend the rest of your life with, you need to understand that the consequences of your choices today will hit you much more than it will hit anyone else.
I studied carefully all the points points that your aunties raised and I'm sorry to say that none of their points were valid enough to make you lose your convictions about your relationship.
That a man is working with a government agency doesn't guarantee that couples won't experience hunger or hardship in their marriage. Some state civil servants are being owed of six to eight months salaries currently, these are family men and women who depend on the state government for their salaries. Sometime last year, the federal civil servants didn't receive up to three months salaries, so working with the federal or state government doesn't guarantee financial security.
Getting married to an Imo man doesn't guarantee a happy marriage, and for the fact that your partner is from a different state from yours doesn't mean that he's not God's will for you.
Left for me I will say that your aunties are using limited human perception to look at the deep issue of life and future. They didn't ask if he has a personal relationship with God, if he has a purpose and a vision for himself, if he's emotionally, mentally, and financially responsible for marriage, and if you're happy with his personality and attitude.
They didn't even give him the privilege of meeting with them before washing and writing him off. Whatever may be their experiences or exposure, it will only be fair for them to hear him out and perhaps allow you to make your decision in life.
Young lady, at your age, you're meant to separate yourself from your aunties, friends, and family, and seek the face of God for yourself and allow the Holy spirit to reveal God's will for your life.
It's too expensive for you to allow anyone to ruin your happiness and marriage with their decisions. Remember that this is your journey, your marriage, your happiness, your family, and your cross, and you need to wake up spiritually and emotionally and decide what's is the best for you, and not the other way round.
You need to realise that marriage is a divine covenant and not a family arrangement or family decision, you need to wake up to the realities of your choices to avoid regrets in the future.
You may impress your aunties today and spend the rest of your life with regrets and bitterness, you may end losing your husband at the altar of indecision and immaturity.
Please do not allow anyone to ruin your chance of experiencing the best of your choice today because you may find it difficult to make amends.
Your aunties have done their best, now is the time for you to allow God to guide you in making the best decision with respect to your choice of partner.
This is the most important decision that you must make for yourself, and allow God and time to perfect every other aspect of your decision.
If God decides to lift a man, he uses any means, if God brings any man to you, he will provide all both of you need to work together as husband and wife, and fulfil your purpose in life.
Please seek the face of God for yourself and don't allow anyone to push you into getting married to a man who you're not comfortable with.
If you are convinced of your decision, explain your findings to your aunties, if they insist on their way, talk to an elder or someone that they will respect or at least listen to, and plead that he or she talks to them. If that doesn't work , please meet with your father and let him know your decision . 
In the real sense of the word, your father is the one that you're accountable to and not your aunties. You may not agree with your aunties because this is actually not their marriage but yours , but it doesn't mean that you don't appreciate their sacrifices nor do you disrespect them. 
You need to wean yourself from pleasing them, and go for your conviction. That's what maturity entails. 


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