Thursday, February 16, 2017

Should I Give Her Some Time or Walk Away?

Hello Amara, am heart broken now. I met a girl five months ago, we started talking and I made her know I love her and want to marry her. As time went on I discovered that she wasn't into me that much but I went on to show love and care.
Things degenerated so much and I insisted that she told me her final stand which she wouldn't tell me until this morning. She said she "loves me and  that I was all any woman would want but she didn't love me up to marriage.
Now her mom is a pastor and wants her to marry a guy who lives in the US and is 21 years older than her. She said they heard from prophesy and the mom doesn't want me at all.
Ma, can you kindly advise me. I love her. Should I give her time? Should I count my losses and walk away now? But it's very hard.


It's really very hard leaving the one you love, especially when you have good intentions and vision for your partner. 
That notwithstanding, you need to realise that you're dating a lady who doesn't share the same value and vision with you. Just like you said, if she's not so into you, forcing yourself on her is as good as punishing yourself for nothing. 
Secondly, you need to realise that you're dealing with a lady who doesn't know exactly what she wants in life or in marriage and is being lead by 'prophesy' and her mother, and a lady who is not emotionally prepared for the kind of commitment and future you have in mind. 
Granted that you may be in love with her, you need to love yourself more and realise that you deserve better than waiting for a lady who is looking forward to joining her 'prophesy husband' anytime soon. You need to love yourself so much that you don't settle for a lady who pitys you or feels that you're all that a lady wants but never what she needs. 
Telling you to hold on, or give her time is as good as encouraging you to punish yourself for nothing. I feel that she has spoken well, and all I can infer from all she said is that you deserve better, please don't settle for less or allow someone to toil with your emotions.

3 comments:

  1. SHOULD I GIVE HIM TIME OR WALK AWAY

    Good evening ma'am
    I am getting to 24 year is few months to come. I have this guy I met where I was doing my Industrial Attachment. He was always so caring and loving. But as time goes on we started talking on phone. I was in love with him and he was as he said. After few weeks he started telling me he isn't seeing the relationship heading anywhere that we should end it. For the fact that I loved him I refused to fall out of love. When he traveled to his place I don't know what happened he started being caring and nice again. I was surprised about everything,he even started telling me how much he loves me and I took it in good faith.
    But recently we chat on whatsapp I complained about him not always picking up my calls or even returning them or reply my messages, He told me not to expect too much from him. I went as far as reducing my calling rate yet to no avail. Now I decided to talk to him that relationship is the only key to a healthy relationship. What he asked me is what I am confused about till today. He said "are we dating"?
    It seems this ain't no relationship and I don't want to be a sex-ship to someone I am in love with. I keep giving in my best I never pretended for any reason but with the way it is am totally confused. The worst is that I can't tell him it's over cos I still love him please what do I do??? Should I bear it and walk away but it's hard you know. people keeps saying he is confuse.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SHOULD I GIVE HIM TIME OR WALK AWAY

    Good evening ma'am
    I am getting to 24 year is few months to come. I have this guy I met where I was doing my Industrial Attachment. He was always so caring and loving. But as time goes on we started talking on phone. I was in love with him and he was as he said. After few weeks he started telling me he isn't seeing the relationship heading anywhere that we should end it. For the fact that I loved him I refused to fall out of love. When he traveled to his place I don't know what happened he started being caring and nice again. I was surprised about everything,he even started telling me how much he loves me and I took it in good faith.
    But recently we chat on whatsapp I complained about him not always picking up my calls or even returning them or reply my messages, He told me not to expect too much from him. I went as far as reducing my calling rate yet to no avail. Now I decided to talk to him that relationship is the only key to a healthy relationship. What he asked me is what I am confused about till today. He said "are we dating"?
    It seems this ain't no relationship and I don't want to be a sex-ship to someone I am in love with. I keep giving in my best I never pretended for any reason but with the way it is am totally confused. The worst is that I can't tell him it's over cos I still love him please what do I do??? Should I bear it and walk away but it's hard you know. people keeps saying he is confuse.

    ReplyDelete

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