Good morning ma, I want to say a big thank you to you for being an answer to many. Ma'am I'm pained, I just realized that the man I'm in a relationship with cannot relate to people without speaking bad English. He is a graduate but not sound academically.
This is really breaking me right now cos it is not the future I'm working hard to build for myself. Have always craved for a man I'll look up to as a role model. I am 24 years and he is 29. I love him but at this time, I think love is not enough to keep me with him.
Should I forget him and move on?... What do I tell him is the reason for the breakup??? Should I get him a private tutor so he doesn't feel bad about it???? Please what do I do ma??? Thank you very much ma, I love you.
I understand exactly how you feel about his poor grammatical expression and his poor communication skills, especially when you feel that as a graduate he ought to be a great communicator, and be fluent with communicating with others without flaws.
If for example you aspire to be a great public speaker or something close to that, definitely you have a genuine reasons to feel worried about his communication skills.
But where I want to come in is where you said that you love him. My simple question is, what impact has your love made in his life, and what value can you say that your presence has created in his life?
If the love you have for him is genuine, selfless, sincere, and of good purpose, your concern won't be how to break up with him but it will be how you can help him improve his communication skills.
There are many intelligent graduates who have poor communication skills, while there are some graduates who have great confidence and fluency in communicating with others. Since you noticed that he struggles with communicating with others, have you tried helping him improve his vocabularies and understanding ways of communicating with others? Have you made any efforts to help this man to become a better communicator or become the kind of man you desired in him? Can you really say that you have given your best to help him, and you genuinely have humbled yourself to support him in your own little way?
Every human is an empty vessel nurtured by love. All that we learned today were taught by someone else, all that we have today was made by someone else, and all we are today is a product of someone else's sacrifice and selfless devotion.
I wouldn't suggest that you consider dating him if you feel that his communication skills is a huge turn off for you, but be careful with your choices to avoid losing a an unrefined treasure for a refined trash.
You are the one who knows exactly what you want, and if you feel that your love for him cannot make you accept him and support him without feeling like you are with an inferior man, kindly let him know and move on with your life.
Don't fool him around if you just want to move on with your life, be sincere with him. He will definitely feel hurt but it's better than for him to be treated like a castaway by the lady he loves.
Poor language presentation cannot be helped after a certain age ( psychology ) all u can do is love him that way or leave him, unless he is fluent but makes few mistakes with tenses, u can gently replace the wrong ones for him. To avoid unnecessary embarrassment, he should always speak him native tongue with people, doesn't his job require grammer? If not let him confidently tell people he relates with that he prefers his language cause he is proud of it
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