Friday, March 24, 2017

What Should I Do to Save my Brother's Marriage?

Good morning aunty Amara, my story is quite lengthy, is about my elder brother.  I will like to know your opinion has a counselor and that of your fans. My brother married a year plus now and they are blessed with a child.
He dated the lady for three months and she took in for him which lead to urgent marriage rite, but when they met he asked the lady of her age and she said 28 and my brother is a year older so they were cool and their love was very strong.
After child birth he discovered that the lady lied about her age and her school degree, she is actually older than him, even when she was asked in church during their counselling classes she still said the same 28 which made him to hate her with passion. Everyone has asked him for forgiveness including the church leaders, the wife's family and even the wife is very sorry about her actions but he's adamant about it and has filed for divorce that he can't live with someone he doesn't trust.
At this point we are really confused on how to make things right because my family has never been polygamous even from our forefathers and I don't want it to start with him. Thanks ma. 

It's quite a sensitive issue but your elder brother is in the best position to decide whether to continue with her or separate from his wife. 
Truth is that his wife did something that was painful, deceptive and manipulative, and to imagine that during counseling session she still maintained her lies points to one thing, she's not trustworthy. 
We may assume that she was overwhelmed by her emotions during pregnancy that she lied, but choosing to lie even after everything was made open suggests that there could be more lies than one can imagine. 
You may encourage your brother to write to me, but I'm not guaranteeing anything. He is the only one who knows what he wants and what he can't cope with. She indeed deceived and manipulated him, and that alone is enough to crush whatever trust and hope their marriage had. 
Should he go on with the divorce, it doesn't make him a polygamous man, God doesn't honor a marriage built on deceit and lies. 
Don't in your bid to help your brother forget that he deserves to be at peace with his choice in life.

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