I Want to Leave Him at all Cost!

Good day Aunty Amara

Please I need your advice, my marriage is almost three years old but in these years, it's been cheating, lies, and deceit.

My husband first cheated in the first year of our marriage in the same house with his so called friend that has been of help to him, according to him he felt indebted to her. He did this for almost two years.

When I complains,  he calls me a liability, I can't help with anything, and I was pregnant then before the relationship broke off according to them.

I found out she was pregnant for him after she left our house in which she lost the baby. It was difficult for me to forgive him because it was not only the cheating but he also made me feel useless.  

I decided to cheat too just for me to get back my self esteem, for a man to see me and say am beautiful, mind you am still young with two kids.

He caught me through some messages, now am done. But few days later a girl of 19 years was calling my husband babyboo, I confronted her and she fought me and told me that she had done a lot for me, she has helped my man and covered some issues for me.

Those words got me crazy, how can my husband tell everything about us to a baby who cannot think, and maybe collect money from her and even sleep with her. He gave her guts to insult me, I told him everything that happened but he feels it is my fault and am too proud. 

I want to leave him at all cost, it's not as if am not working, I have a job but they are not paying well. I want to go back and finish my education so that nobody sees me as a liability, even his family too sees me as such. Sorry for the lengthy write up but I need your advice. 

I understand that you were pained and crushed by the attitude and infidelity of your husband. I won't blame you for taking a revenge on your husband for cheating on you, but you only succeeded in reducing yourself to his level. 

He's a weak man, cheating only made both of you weaker. As both of you started dining with adultery, you lost the foundation of your marriage, and that is the reason why anyone can insult you and abuse you in your marriage. 

It is imperative for you to consider separation from him, to help you heal and then decide whether you are comfortable with your marriage or wish to part ways with him. 

There is a need to consider involving your families in the reconciliation process, that is if both of you are willing to make amends and work on your marriage. 

If you feel that you are no longer comfortable with the marriage, please work out ways to cater for your children, before parting ways with him. 

I know that it was a difficult moment for you, but cheating made it quite complex for both of you. 

I can only pray and hope that both of you bounce back from this mess and rebuild your marriage.