Sunday, April 23, 2017

Should I Marry my Muslim Lover?

Hi Aunty Amara, may God continue to increase you in wisdom.
I have a confusing issue here that I want you and others to help me out.
Am a girl of 28 years, I have this Muslim guy that
wants to get married to me. He loves me but the problem here now is that I am from Igbo and he is Yoruba, also am a Christian and he is a Muslim. 
When I asked him on the issue of religion, he said he doesn't have any problem with that, that he can allow me to continue going to church if we marry.
I then asked him if he can change, he said that he can that it is my character that will convince him that I don't expect him to change if I don't have a convincing character that will make him join Christianity.
But he is a caring man, he has everything and character I want in a man.
Ma please advice me cos I don't want to make mistake.

Muslim is a religion of peace, and in Muslim religion, a man is permitted by the Holy Koran to marry up to four wives, as long as he can take care of them, and provide for them. 
Christianity is a religion of God's love to humanity, and a movement of those who believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. In Christianity, polygam is not permitted because according to the Bible, God made it one man one wife. 
But there is one point where both Muslims and Christians agree together, and that is in the leadership of the home. They both gave authority of leadership to the man, meaning that you are meant to submit to the decision and leadership of your husband irrespective of the pre-agreement before the wedding. 
If you know that you can cope with the demands of his religious beliefs and convictions, if you are sure that you won't struggle with his place of worship, if you know that you won't have issues with your children attending his church and studying the Holy book of Koran, and if you feel that his care and love alone is more important than your convictions and your personal relationship with God, please feel free to marry him. 
Based on what he said, he didn't give you any promise nor is there any legal documents that mandates him to either worship in your church or give you the freedom to worship anywhere you wish to. So don't let your emotions becloud your sense of objectivity and reason. 
Concerning your tribal difference, that can be worked on by letting your family know the best of his personality and not his tribe. 
I know that you love him deeply, but will your love be strong enough to withstand these pressures and convictions that may have a negative impact in your marriage in future? 
You are the only person that knows what's most important to you, and I can only encourage you to go for whoever makes you feel loved and happy. 

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