Friday, April 28, 2017

I'm Tired of Apologising to Him!

Aunty Good morning ma, I am the lady that posted about how to separate my husband from his mistress(Read Here), they have finally separated but in a wrong way. Sorry for the long write up.
My husband went out and didn't come home that day, he came back the next day and when he came back he went to brush immediately unlike him. So I started suspecting him, then I gave him food he ate it and after eating he was going through his phone.
So I went to meet him inside and was asking him for money to get something for my kids, he refused to answer me and was chatting. So I collected the phone from him so he could answer, the way he was dragging the phone with me made me decide to check what was on the phone.
So I took the phone to my kids' room and locked myself inside, to my greatest suprise I saw him chatting with his mistress, telling her how she punished him last night by telling him to suck her private part which he has never done before and all sort of rubbish.
While I was busy reading it, he already called my mum and his family telling them he is tired of me that I must leave his house that day, everybody begged him but he refused, not until his uncle that just came for abroad talked to him on phone before he listened, and he now left the house.
Even while this was happening, nobody knew the reason he said I should leave, he only told them he is tired of me, that I took his phone and was going through it,  what right do I have to do that, and I didn't tell anybody what I saw. Even when I sent him message when he went out, he denied it and was insulting me that he can never do such.
But ever since then my husband does not talk to me, he comes home in the middle of the night and still leave very early in the morning, he does not eat my food. He wants me to apologise to him.
Did I mention that he has never apologised to me before, no matter what happens I will still be the one to apologise, but I don't want to apologise this time, I am tired.
Please advice me on what to do, this thing is really eating me up. Thanks. 

The real issue is not checking his phone, the real issue is infidelity affecting your marriage. I feel that it is appropriate for you to talk to him about your pains, and your willingness to involve your family and his family in resolving this. 
He cannot cheat on you and at the same time turn everything against you simply because you checked his phone. 
Granted that you should not drag his phone from him, or read his messages without his permission, but that shouldn't be the reason for you to expose yourself to sexually transmitted infections all because you want to be a 'virtuous woman' to him. Apologise if he felt disrespected by your attitude but don't ignore what you read in his phone.
Make out time and talk about what you saw in his text message, and where he's unwilling to give you attention, please consider involving your families. 

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