Monday, May 15, 2017

I Feel Rejected and Dejected in my Seven Months Marriage!

On March 2016 I met my hubby through our primary school Whatsapp chat.... The question I asked there made him pick interest in me. He started sending me private messages, he was a perfect gentleman, he asked me of my family, where I worked and everything.
Things were moving on gradually around that same March, one day he popped up a question and asked me that if he invites me to where he's based will I come? Cos he's not based in Nigeria. I quickly and jokingly said "yes naa" he said ok.
Ma, that same March he called me and said he will like me to get an international passport, he sent me money and I did it.
The next step was to go see his uncle,
I went and his uncle accepted me immediately calling me his nephew's wife, we laughed and joked about it and I left.
But ma, before I met him I did a 21 days fasting and prayer asking God to send my marriage partner for me, and I promised God I will say yes to the first man who will come asking for my hands in marriage.
It happened exactly the way I prayed, one week after my prayers he appeared and his intentions was marriage at first! I accepted him wholeheartedly and thanked God for answering my prayers because am tired of guys then.
So while I was preparing to travel and meet him cos he said he will like me to see where he stays and what he do, he's a pastor.
But before I travelled my introduction took place, both families knew that I was going, even my brother and uncle over there met with him before I came...
On June 2016 I travelled!
Am working here in Nigeria so I took my one month leave to travel.
I met with him, he was so nice to me then, though I saw little challenges but I stuck with him, had faith in God and hoped that things will change to normalcy. The challenge I saw was financial challenge, but I overlooked it cos I know when there's, life there's hope.
After my one month stay, he begged me not to go back again but I insisted and told him I will like to go cos my bride prize needs to be paid and we're not husband and wife yet. He said he will send money over to my family to do it while I stay with him, I said No! Insisted and later came back to Nigeria.
When I came back, my dad asked me how was my journey, if the guy is good I replied yes that he's nice and he also asked whether they should carry on with the bride prize ceremony, I said yes!
On October last year my brideprice was paid, though he wasn't there present.
After the bride prize things was normal, he calls me every time, morning, afternoon and night. We chat regularly, I wasn't feeling he's not with me. I was happy, he said he would like me to join him this this March 2017.
We planned it and I agreed, but I told my parents they said No! That he MUST come back to do all other necessities, and they will like to see their in law too. I told him what my mum said and that I agreed with my mum, that he should find a way and come back. He was angry but later agreed.....But since then he changed completely!
He doesn't call like before again, our chat was so weak, sometimes I will chat him up he will read and will not reply. It was going down gradually, and our relationship was going down gradually. I have asked him severally why he's behaving that way, he will say am stubborn that am listening to my mum.... I kept quiet but he continued, I keep on complaining but he keeps ignoring me...
I called his elder brother in Nigeria and told him about it....
I even complained to him that it seems he's tired of me, that if he's tired he should let me know so that I can move on cos he's tourturing me by ignoring me and keeping quiet on me.... He will be online but won't say common Hi" to me... He's always online but always ignores me.
I started weighing down slowing, last two weeks I slumped in my office, I told him about it but he ignored it.......
I don't know what is really happening.....
He abused me by sending me text messages calling me a fool and a wicked girl for calling his brother to report him to him...
Madam, I feel rejected and dejected, I don't know what to do!
Not as if men are not coming my way, but because of this bride prize am hooked here!
Am tired and don't think I can cope in this early marriage where am always been ignored.

Your family should schedule an official meeting with his family. The purpose of the meeting is to ascertain the position or stand of his son with respect to the marriage.
But where you are definite and convinced that you don't want to have anything to do with him, please let them know that you wish to terminate the marriage. Then your family will need to return the bride prize in accordance to your tradition. 
You should be glad that God decided to save you from what would have been an eternity of bondage, because even if you had joined him as he planned, he will manifest these weaknesses with time. 
I quite understand his reaction when you couldn't join him after the bride prize, but calling you a fool and a wicked girl is an attribute of his weaknesses which you shouldn't ignore. 
And with negligence and emotional torture, it's obvious that the excitement has faded off and he's almost done with you. 
Whatever your decision, remember that your life is the most precious gift from God. Please do not allow anyone to crush you emotionally or abuse you at the detriment of your happiness.

1 comment:

  1. Nne just listen to what aunty any told you and forge ahead.


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