What Could be Responsible for the Delay?

Hello Aunty Amara, trust you are good. Please I will appreciate your take on this issue which seems little but is seriously bothering me.

I am 30 years old and resident in Lagos. I have known a lady for close to three years now and I love her. Seeing my love for her, my folks accepted her despite the reservation they had with regards to where she is from (Delta).

I met her parents in February to declare my intention to marry her. They accepted me and told me they will get back to me to schedule a date for the commencement of marriage rites.

However, I have not gotten any response from them till now: four months after visiting them. My girl is equally worried, surprisingly she is not making any attempt to enquire from her folks what could be the reason for the delay.

Moreover with this development, my folks are on my neck to let go of her and settle for someone else they have in mind for me. I have heard a lot about plan B. I don't have one and I just don't know how to start all over. Your take please.

Regards,

U***

There is a possibility or a probability that her parents are not comfortable with your state of origin which could be their reason for not responding four months after you visited. It's also very likely that your partner is aware of her parents' perception but have decided not to share them with you or maybe discourage you from your plans to marry her. 

The first thing to do is start from the closest family member to you, that is your partner. Find out what exactly is going on in all sincerity of heart, let her know that you demand answers to the delays from her parents. Her response will most likely help you plan your next course of action. 

The second plan will be to schedule a visit to her parents to ask your questions about their traditions and requirements for traditional wedding. Don't make it obvious that you want to demand why there's a huge delay, but let it be like a follow-up enquiries to the procedure for getting married to their daughter, they will most likely get the message and give you the needed feedback. 

Be positive but be open to any eventuality from your partner or her parents. If they're not forthcoming, maybe they're indirectly saying that you are not the kind of man they want for their daughter.

Don't keep quiet or make unnecessary assumptions, take a step and you will most definitely find out what's happening in her family.