Sunday, July 16, 2017

How Do I Overcome Depression and Rejection?

Good evening ma, please I need help. How do I overcome depression and rejection? I feel ruined and I can't focus. I'm 28, I've spent my eight years with a man I met in school. We have endured so much in this life. We were supposed to see my parents officially this January but we had a serious fight in December, and he said he won't continue that after all he never loved me, it was infatuation.
My younger sister got to know and insulted him through text. He went home and showed his people and they descended on me. None of them wanted to hear my part.
February, he called me to come, after much resistance I went. We talked and he asked me to come the following day, I told him I can't. The next day, the same thing; that was all. In my mind I've already forgiven him but wanted him to at least come and see me and not telling me to come. That same February he got a girl but I didn't know.
In March he came and told me things have spoiled, that everything has shattered. I tried to find out what he was saying but he couldn't talk.
So early April, I paid him a surprised visit and met the girl in wrapper and I couldn't believe it. So I called him that I've forgiven him that's why I came. But the answer I got has left me wounded. He told me that he has gone to see the girl's parents and promised to marry her. That he can't fail her. That he has comitted himself. I asked him what about me since all these years? He said things are not the same. He hasn't met my family officially.
Aunty, I don't really know how I feel. It has been only him in my life. How do I survive this shame? Where do I start from? Does meeting a woman's parents make it compulsory to marry the woman??? Within February and April?? I need help please. 

I know that you genuinely love him and you wish to marry him, but I suggest that you shut the door to him and move on with your life. 
The time you invested in your relationship is not the most important thing to consider but those moments that made your relationship an exceptional experience. 
Can you really say that you are happy with this man? Can you really boast of his love for you and your family? You only held unto a man who never shared the same vision of the future with you. 
He has directly and indirectly revealed his intentions/decision to you, but being that you were in love with him, you took it like a joke and chose to punish yourself. 
This is the time to break this yoke of stagnation you called relationship, and surrender everything to God. This is not the best time to ask God why, but a time to trust in God's sovereignty knowing that He's able to bless you with the best of your heart desires. 
He has decided to move on with his life, please bid him goodbye and pour your heart to God, He will surely comfort you with your heart desire.
To overcome depression, don't force yourself on anyone who doesn't love you. Don't lose your esteem, destiny, and purpose in life. Being in love with anyone is never a crime, allowing yourself to be frustrated by a man is what you shouldn't condone. 
Don't compare yourself with anyone, remember that you are on your own journey, one that is unique and peculiar to you and you alone. 
Aim higher and improve on yourself, add value and virtues to your life and strive to be a better version of your personality not a replica of another individual. 
There are two ways to overcome rejection 
1. Love yourself so much that those around you can't help but love you. 

2. Never lower your values to accommodate an individual. It is not pride but having a self esteem that cannot be toyed with for the sake of anything. 

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