Thursday, July 27, 2017

What Does the Future Hold? I'm Scared!

Good morning ma. Thanks for the wonderful work you are doing. I have a problem.
I am approaching my late 20s and it bothers me that I have not made up my mind on whom to marry. I am well educated and I am  from a family that is education conscious. Most of the men seeking my hands in marriage are not educated
but wealthy business guys who are ready to spend on me if I let them.
Although I have chosen to be blind over their wealth, they still won't let go. The guy I really like is not very wealthy now but he is a goal oriented individual but he only refers to me as a friend. I don't want to make any move cos I don't want him to misjudge me.
The other educated guys who are interested in me are either too arrogant, proud or selfish. I am considering accepting one of those guys who is not educated cos he is a very nice person, and to a good extent like him and his family.
But I have some fears. I am scared that the intellectual difference between us might shake the marriage. Truthfully, I am also very scared about what my parents, siblings, friends, and relations will think about me marrying someone who is not a graduate considering the kind of academic conscious environment I have found myself.
I am sincerely scared of myself because I fear what the future holds for the guy and me seeing that I love educated people and people of like minds. Please what do I do cos I am becoming depressed?

Too many cages for one individual, now that's self punishment. 
First thing you should know is that you are alive, and you have every right to live, learn, and make your choices for yourself. 
The opinion or perception of any other person, no matter how close, shouldn't put you in a cage of indecision. 
Everything about life and living is a risk, one that you can never predict. Living in fear is the worst cage any individual will find his/her self in, and no matter how careful you may want to be, you can never predict your future. 
So take charge of your life, live by all means and make your decision. Entrust everything to God and allow him to guide you through. Be open to learn, to make mistakes, and to make amends where it's necessary. 
With respect to your relationship, here are my thoughts. 
I will suggest that you approach the man who you are deeply in love with, and find out his thoughts about you. You don't need to make it obvious but from your conversation with him, you can tell exactly his thoughts about you in his life. 
I wouldn't know if you are attracted to education, wealth or the personality of an individual, but I want you to know that your decision comes with consequences, one that only you will carry in your journey. 
Being educated is a wonderful thing, being able to discern the personality of an man notwithstanding his educational or financial fortunes is what reveals how mature or wise you are as a lady. 
This I can assure you, after all certificates, wealth, and physical appearance, you will spend the rest of your life with the character/personality of an individual. 
If a man is arrogant, abusive, irresponsible, or immature, no matter his level of education or wealth, it won't change anything. 
I will suggest that you focus more on the attribute you desire in your man, not his certificates or wealth. This is not to say that you should write them off completely but I will suggest that you focus on those attributes of a man that will make you enjoy marriage with him. 
Take your time, please do not rush into choosing anyone, nor should you allow your birthday to pressurize you into accepting who you are not comfortable with. 
Remember, this is a lifetime journey, one that will affect your emotional, psychological, spiritual, and financial aspects of your life.
Pray for discerning spirit, wisdom, and grace to help you make the right choice of partner, that in the end, you will appreciate this experience in your journey.

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