Friday, July 28, 2017

Should I Still Marry Him?

Good evening ma Aunty Amara. This is my second time of writing. I am confused, please beautiful people I need your advice. Insults are also welcome.
I am a Corp member(NYSC) currently serving in one of the Northern states.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years now, and we are planning to settle down this year. I do not know how possible it is going to be because he doesn't have enough money for that now, his salary is very low. He stays in another state.
I met another guy where am serving though he is not a corp member. We started as friends, he later asked me out, i said yes because I wanted to eat his money. This was all what I had in mind towards the new guy but gradually I started falling in love with him. He is from a rich home and he also has a better job than my boyfriend, we started dating.
Someone around me collected my boyfriend's number from my phone without my knowledge and told him everything. I was really shocked when my boyfriend called to tell me the things I was doing, I refused to accept them because I was scared he might use it against me later.
He insulted me seriously and called me names. I was not angry, I was even feeling for him and also feeling so much guilt inside of me for double dating.
My boyfriend is a nice person but does not have money and everyone wants security. I had earlier made up my mind to support him in my little way, but along the line I felt he wasn't serious with our plans and this guy came along.
The other boy got to know about my boyfriend, I told him that we can't continue, he said no problem. Unknown to me that my boyfriend hacked my phone and was getting all my messages both on Whatsapp and Facebook.
When I found out, I was very angry. I called to end the relationship, that he doesn't have any right to hack my phone because he was not the one that got me the phone and also that I am an adult, then he started begging me that he will not do it again, that I should not leave him because his whole family are aware of us,his siblings will mock him.
Then we settled but from that day till today, he never stopped talking about the other guy, always insulting me, telling me to go and collect anything I ask him for from the other guy.
In fact I don't even have peace of mind again with him. I and the other guy are just friends now but he makes me happy, makes me laugh a lot, buys me anything I ask for. I love him but I still want my boyfriend because we have been together for long.
Now my fear is should I still go ahead and marry him? Am so scared of his behavior towards me in the future. I don't know what to do again, am no longer happy with him because of his constant nagging.
And I know marriage is a life time thing, I don't even have parents to run back to if the trouble starts because am an orphan.
I also intend to wait a little for my elder sister who is going through some problems for now because she saw me through school, so I felt it will be wrong getting married when she is not available for now. This also I can't explain to him as it's my family matter.
I am totally confused, I need help.
Thanks and God bless you all.

Oh woman, what is your value? Dear lady, what are your virtues? You are scared of what will happen to you in future, but I am worried about the man that wish to marry you. 
If as a lady, a man can buy you with money, sincerely you have no value as a lady. I know that this may sound harsh, but that's why many women are slaves in their marriage. The man could afford to buy her anything she wanted, and at the same time treat her anyhow he wanted. 
You need to really evaluate yourself and ask yourself why a man should marry you aside from your beauty. I mean, if your son wish to marry a lady like you, will you encourage him to marry her? 
You need to add value to your life, and date men with a vision/future, not one that you can eat their money. 
Every woman needs security, and I am here to inform you that every woman can afford their security. So if you think that security is about eating a man's money, you are too cheap to be considered a wife.
This is how some women sold their value and are suffering for the rest of their life. Some men can afford to spend heavily on a lady, and still dump her later.
You need to grow up and decide what you want in life. You need to consider what you can do to add value to yourself and to humanity. 
You need some time to examine your life and choices because you may end up crashing if you tow this path. 
If after four years you don't see your husband in your first boyfriend, please terminate the relationship and move on with your life. But don't try to paint him black by saying that you don't know how serious he is because he's not spending more cash on you.
As for the one you want to eat his money, I think it's wise to stay with him because apparently he has more cash, and from a cash-full home. 
I wish you all the best anyways, and I hope you don't regret this decision in your journey. 

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