Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I'm Losing my Sanity in my Marriage!

Good morning ma,
Before I got married to my husband in April, we did not date or have a good friendship. We court for almost a year, but we didn't stay together.
During our courtship he was dating others and when I found out, he will lie and sometimes deny it. When I get too angry, he will ask for forgiveness. Then he hardly call or text, he was so harsh to me but do not beat. He hardly attended to my needs, no time for me, we hardly had a pleasant discussion.
When I told my mum, she said I should keep praying that he will change. Within me I wasn't feeling the relationship but my mum encouraged me, he will lie to me even when I caught him.
Each time we had little issues, he will always call my mum. Before the wedding, we had several issue which he told me that I frustrate him and that am not the only woman on earth, I let that one go.
After the wedding, he opened up to me about a relationship I was suspecting during the courtship which got me so crazy and we had a big quarrel. I was seven weeks pregnant, he left me without any money. That night, I got sick and I called him, he blocked me from calling him; I texted him, no way.
I nearly died, thank God for my neighbors that came and took me to the hospital. The next day he didn't showed up, I called my mum who came and took care of me.
Later my mum called him to tell him am sick, he said I disrespected him and insulted him and because of that he will never come. After that day, my mum called my mother-in-law to explain to him. The mum talked to him and finally he came to the hospital and ignorantly told my mum that he still have issues with me, and that he will not pay the hospital bill because ₦10,000 is too much. I was shock but I believed in God for my recovery.
After I came back to my parents' house, he asked me to take a public transport to come back home which I did for peace sake.
He is a minister of God, things kept on going down, we hardly eat, so I sacrificed my education (stop schooling for the mean time) so that we could get ourselves first before any other thing.
Life continued, not until he started his unfaithful life (chatting and calling some ladies on the social media). When we are together, he will put off his phone or ignore their call, most of them doesn't know that he is married.
I confronted him again about it, we had another quarrel. During the quarrel, he said a lot of things to me, that I frustrate his life, am not a godly woman, that am an empty vessel, that marriage is not a curse, that he was warned of marrying a student but he didn't listen, that I am the greatest mistake he has made in life and so on.
He didn't lay his hands on me cos of my condition. Though I couldn't believe my ears, he called my mum to caution me. I told my mum my own part, she said, keep praying. It was not up to two days he got sick, he called me to tell me and that I should come, that he can't stand.
I went and took care of him, instead of appreciating me he will shout and use harsh words on me, will send me on an errand like a house help; I kept on doing it for the sake of God not him.
Ma, to be honest with you, I have grown a strong hatred for him in my heart, and I am also losing my sanity too. His presence irritates me and makes me uncomfortable, I feel like running away, please help me.
Right now, because of my condition I don't know what to do, help me please.
No abuse from the viewers, thank you and God bless your hand work.

They will tell you to stay and pray about it, unfortunately I won't suggest that to you because a mind that is not at peace cannot pray to God nor manage some unpleasant experience in marriage. 
Staying with him when you have a strong hatred for him will put you, him, and your unborn baby in great danger. The reason is because someday your hatred will find an expression and the outcome may be devastating. 
Taking a break from your marriage and returning to your family will at least help you have a peace of mind and healthy mindset. 
I will suggest that you consider taking a break from your marriage, and return to your family. Let your focus be on your health and pregnancy, not marriage or any individual. 
When you have put to bed safely, maybe you and your husband can iron things out and address those issues that affect your marriage. 


  1. What I don't understand is that your mum always tell you to pray{though am not against you praying}, but it seems your mum had a hand in this marriage?
    Also, just as Aunty Amara has said; your health & your baby's health is very important . What I would have love you to do is to sit him down{when you all are in good mood} since he is a Minister of God & give or quote some Bible scriptures/verses to him & asked him if he is really living/abiding by those scriptures/verses?.
    Also, asked him if a member of d Ministry comes with the same issue, what will be his advice/counsel to that member?
    Also, remind him that it should be: "A LEADER BY EXAMPLE".
    Thanks & please never stop trusting God because there's nothing God can not do.
    Wishing you a safe delivery in advance.

  2. And the problem is that is her mother that pushed her to marry that beast. And you two are not meant for each other. Simple.

  3. Marriage is not all about sex,pregnancy but also for companionship and this is evidently lacking.Kindly excuse yourself for a while.God forbid you loose your life today,your husband will definitely marry another lady within a very short time.


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