Tuesday, August 15, 2017

My Past Has Been my Nightmare.

Good day ma, I've been following your post and I must say I've been blessed by them. I am 24, and am a girl who lived carelessly in the past. If not for God's grace I would have died on the table of abortion.
I've been in different kind of relationships, slept with different kind of guys but at the end I realized it was only destroying myself and I had to stop. Asked God for mercy and moved on.
Now I have someone coming for my hands in marriage, he is a good person, although I don't know much about him because we don't stay in the same state. I got to know him for a neighbor and we talk on phone everyday and he visits from time to time. He has even met my parents and introduced himself to them. The problem now is I don't how to tell him about my past because I don't know how he would take it. Secondly he attends Christ the King Church and some church friends said I shouldn't go there.
I gave up my Masters admission just to make this relationship work but my past has been my nightmare. I don't know if I should tell him or just keep quiet. Thanks.

How long have you known this man that you suddenly want to reveal everything about you to him? What exactly are you desperate for that you gave up an admission that would add value to your life for a relationship you are not sure will end up in marriage? 
I will suggest that you grab your admission and continue with your studies. Take your time to know who you are dealing with. Marriage doesn't take people out of the world, so don't rush into it as though you won't be on earth after wedding. 
Keep your history to yourself, build your friendship with him and give yourself some time to know him. 
You may share your past experiences with him when you are comfortable with his personality and his intentions for you. Then allow him to decide whether to go ahead with you or move on with his life. 
When you are his friend, you will definitely know what his church represents, then decide whether you are comfortable with his place of worship or not.
You have made your mistakes and have learnt from them, so have your boyfriend. Don't withhold the vital information about your past from your boyfriend or husband especially those ones that have to do with your reproductive health. This is because it will most definitely crush your marriage if he finds out after wedding that you lied about your reproductive health, and for some circumstances you couldn't give him a child.

1 comment:

  1. Nice response .to add to it. what's up with women telling men about there past ,how come men don't tell there's cuz we even do worst than the women. I think you should check yourself out with a doc and confirm your health status . if your OK ,keep ur dam shits to urself .if ur not OK. Tell him the parts that will involve him. Cuz definitely he's gonna use ur past against you.


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