Monday, August 14, 2017

This is Driving me Crazy!

Mummy thank you for always inspiring us,
may God continue to bless you ma.
Please mummy am writing to you with tears flowing from my eyes. Am really confused.

I met this guy when I was in year one at school and he is in the same department with me but he was in year three when I entered year one.
So he was a first class student then and he always teach me and solve hard science, maths and chemistry questions for me and that made me fall in love with him.
Later, he too fell in love but he always controlled it and I was always going crazy in love for him

He graduated before me and served, I even went to his state of service to visit him, then after his service, I was in final year at School by then...
He called me and said he is leaving the state to go and find work, and that he doesn't think he can promise me marriage again since he doesn't know what the future holds..
He doesn't even know when he will get a job, so he doesn't want to tie me down or disapoint me but that I should know that he loves me so much and that he can't think of another. Then he left after like six months, we didn't see and till after a year we saw.
After a year he still haven't gotten a job though we still talk, but during that time due to the distance we always quarrel. If I seek his attention always like I used to do, he will get mad and tell me he is not in for such and that it's not his problem. Then at any little thing he will pick a fight and will stop picking my calls.
He knows I love talking always with him to feel his presence around me but then he will deny me that just to punish me.
I dont go out, I always stay at home waiting for him and his call but after the day he starved me his communication for a very long time and I already had this friend that always want to push his way into me, but because of this other one I kept knocking him and others off.
During that time we were quareling, I decided to accept at least one of those friends so that i will no longer have to disturb my real guy since he is feeling disturbed and his name is E. Then I accepted Prince Murray who actually fought for six months to win me as a friend... That notwithstanding, I always seek for E's attention and he kept being like that, nagging, suspicious and always not calling me.
I will always cry because I am this  kind of person that when I love, I will want my lover to be my all. I don't give room for anyother person but due to the way he always nag, I started hanging out with Prince Murray who always follow me to gym, he will stay and watch me swim, after which he drives me home before leaving for his house. Still my lover kept changing as months passed by.
Then it's already a year and seven months that I haven't seen him and I already started falling in love with Prince Murray who is a Muslim. At times he will even follow me to church but he always drive me to church as his duty.
Gradually I fell  in love with him because E doesn't seem to care again but Murray is always there for me. Prince Murray will always drive me to school at times. He always ensure I have food stuffs and he always gives me pocket money.
After a year of knowing Prince Murray, he always want the best for me. He changes my phone within five months, he even proposed to me. I stopped disturbing my guy E but two years later, this my guy started calling to tell me he can't do without me and that he is sorry for all those times he was harsh to me
Then I was like it's okay, no problem. I don't always pick his call especially when I am with Prince Murray. 
Prince Murray proposed to me and he told me he love me so much, he told me he is a Muslim but that his dad is late, and that his mum wants him to marry one lady like that who is also a Muslim, but that he doesn't love the woman and that his mum says she is going to die if he rejects the woman.
So I told him, since you're a Muslim, maybe you should marry her for your mum and then after I graduate and do my NYSC, we can then marry if he still so wish because by this time I am deeply in love with him and we continued.

One day I noticed a number that always call him and when I asked, he told me it's the number of the woman that his mum wanted him to marry.
He is a very good man, takes care of me like his wife and he doesn't like seeing me frown let alone cry
But when I stayed close to him and I suspected him over something, I found out that he's a coded womaniser. He sleeps around with every girl available, and that he is a smoker and  Igbo smoker too, but smoking isn't my problem as he promised to stop soon but he lies a lot.
Even when I see facts, he will still deny it until I had to connive with one girl he was always carrying at midnight and takes her home as early as 5:30 am. I used the girl and caught him.
He discarded the girl and started begging me to forgive him. I forgave him still due to love but after a month he went back to womanizing. He hides it from me but I knew because anytime he starts it, I always feel it from his behavior due to how close I have been with him.
I know him too well than he can imagine, although he knows and he only tell me to please know that he loves me a lot.
Then later after his journey home, a woman called me and asked me if I knew Prince Murray, that she is his sister and I was happy to hear from her...
We started talking, she said she has been hearing about me, so I told her that is good.
But I told her, well your brother is my husband and she shouted, really! Like have we celebrated it by inviting people and I told her no. She was like what are you doing? Do you people stay together, and I said yes. That was a lie but I just wanted to confirm my suspicion with other questions I asked her and she answered.
I confirmed she is his wife at his village but she was pretending because she doesn't want me to know and that she wanted to know me more...
But when I told him a lady called and said she is his sister, he said he doesn't have a sister with such name, although he has shown me his brothers and some sisters.
He said I should stop talking to the lady,
I insisted I will that she sounds cool. He then told me that that lady is dangerous and that she can kill me oh. He told me the lady is that woman his mum is forcing him to marry and he never told me he has married her.
Then he was like, he will marry her since I told him to go ahead for his mum's sake and I said yes go ahead .

I continued talking with the lady, I was playing along with her game, actually I felt it's not my business to worry. Later he told me that that lady is causing problem in their house and that it may kill her mum, that every of my discussion with her ... she normally plays it for his mum, that I should please stop talking with her. After  a severe quarrel, I stopped.
Mine is that he is a Muslim and that he already told me he is entitled to more than a wife, but then I still love him.

I have graduated and waiting for my service but is still two years now, I haven't gone for service.
That my ex E is on my neck now that he wants me back and that he wants to marry me. He told me he now has a job, that he can't actually do without me, but the love I have for him has faded.
I have tranafered it all to this other Muslim man, and this Muslim man have suffered very well because of me which I can't state everything. 

Right now I am confused because the muslim guy have spent a lot on me and my nieces and even my friends because of me. He is lovely and loving and he really wants to marry me, but he is complicated for me and I love him with my all.

Then my ex E is back begging me and pleading even when I told him I don't love him again...
My ex is a straightforward person, he doesn't lie, he has a brighter future, he is gentle, he fears God and he is a faithful guy.
All those years he was nagging at me,  I thought maybe he has found a lover, not knwing he was worried because of delay. Things were not working out the way he expected.
He is even ready to marry me within a short period of time.
I like his person, I even started appreciating him for his decent and faithful nature still I couldn't love him again.
I am so confused here.

Because this Prince Murray I love is actully married to that lady with a kid...
I never knew that he was pushing them away because of me and now I found out, he kept pleading for my forgiveness and he kept saying he loves me ... but I still have 100% love for him. Even though I am sad but all my happiness come from him.
He knows my heart more than my ex, satisfies me sexually too more than my ex because I and my ex were like learners all those while. When it comes to sex, at times before he enters me, he will cume and I don't even know much but Prince Murray makes my world go round on all sides . 
Ma please the love I have for him made me not to see anything bad about him, even if I am his second wife but he is a cheat but though he takes care of his responsibilities very well but here my ex E takes care of me too and he is willing to do more if I can accept him back.
He is well doing now and a christian just like me but I don't feel comfortable staying with him. Sex wasn't my problem bcos those time I was into him, I was always happy with him like that and I never wanted another untill now .

Mummy please advice me and let your fans advice.
Even my sisters say I should go for my E, that he will marry me well better than Prince Murray and I have seen it true true but how can I bring out my love from prince Murray and give to E?
Mummy please even the Prince Murray can't stand seeing me talk with another man.
He is ever ready to give me or do anything for me to keep loving only him
Haba mummy am confused because I love Prince Murray but my Ex E is the kind of person I want to marry.

It's crazy and I am like crying since.

Please ma by next year 2018 I will be on service and that is when Prince Murray plans on marrying me but by this December 2017 is wen my Ex wants to marry if I accept him .

Am crying because he pushed me into this,
If he had controlled his pressure, I wouldn't have known this Prince Murray ..
I used anger to leave him and he seemed like he did not care at all and he never tried calling me and now he is telling me marriage. 

I want to stop loving Murray but he has been so good to me, and he does so many things I don't like and he is a uniform man ... He has money more than E but I know and always believe E will still have greater someday but now I wish prince Murray can be decent like E.
Mummy this is how I feel, I don't even know how to explain it, that was why I said I am insane and confused
He contributed massively to the  setting up of my factory
Please Mummy help me. 

Marriage is more than dating a rich and caring man, it is more than having a romantic man who can buy the world for you. 
You will be marrying his attitude, flaws, limitations, ideologies, perception, and vision. 

Here are the credential of Prince Murray 
Sex Stud

These are the few you know and there is no guarantee that he will change after wedding. Let me remind you that as a Muslim, men marry more wives to help the female folks. The purpose is to give the female a marriage status, so a man is entitled to as many wives as he can take good care of. 
So after you, there could be more wives in the nearest future. 
If you can take care of his weaknesses, and your love for him can withstand any challenge you may face as a consequence for your love for him, please consider getting married to him as soon as possible. 

The Credential of Mr E 
Not good in bed
Poor communication skill 

These, according to you are the qualities of E. The question is, which of these two qualities will give you happiness and peace of mind? Which of these two personalities will bring out the best in you? 
Which amongst the two of them do you think respects your emotion more? 

If you remove the money and the romance from Prince Murray, do you think you will still be in love with him? 
If Prince Murray marries a third wife, will you still be in love with him? 

It is good to acknowledge and appreciate those who have been a blessing to you, but never use marriage as a compensation plan to any man. 

You are the only person who can tell what you really want in a man and who you feel will make you feel loved, happy and fulfilled in your marriage. Take your time and prayerfully make your decision, to avoid regrets in the future.

The choice is yours, but I will suggest that you don't make a long-term decision based on temporary feeling or values, because you will be the one to carry the cross of your own choice.

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