Thursday, September 7, 2017

Should I Terminate the Relationship?

Hello ma, I am an ardent follower and you have been doing a great job.  More grease and grace mam.
I met a girl about five months ago on Facebook and we have been talking since then. Three weeks after we met, my place of work shut down operation in my town of residence and they wanted me to relocate to Lagos with out any provision for accommodation or salary review which is not favourable to me, so I had to quit. Ever since then I have been looking another job.
She told me all about her and her past, she did a lot of terrible things to survive in school cos her mum is no more and her dad has never been responsible for her needs, and  she also came clean about her sexuality(bisexual).
I appreciated the fact that she was truthful and ready to change for me. So we kept communicating and once in a while I send some cash to her. I went to visit her for the first time in Lagos July, and after the visit we decided to make our relationship official and she promised to cut ties with all her lesbian associates.
But for a while now, I haven't been able to send anything to her cos I barely get enough for myself. She recently started exhibiting some disturbing behaviors, she threatens me at the slightest opportunity. I sold my car because it was given me issues, I wanted to buy another one so I can start an uber business with it. She got angry because I didn't consult her before I sold it and got more angry that I didn't send her money from the car sale. 
All effort to explain to her that the car money can't be touched fell on deaf ears. Now she won't talk to me because I put the money into a fixed deposit pending when I will be able to raise the balance for the new car for uber business. She is suppose to pay me a visit later this month but I am not sure if I should let her come cos I am already scared of the person she is turning out to be.
She is constantly putting me under pressure that I need to be responsible for her upkeep other wise, she is leaving. She constantly sends me screenshots of the conversations she has with suitors where they promised her good life and relocation abroad.
I am thinking of stopping the relationship so I can focus and strive to achieve my business plans under less female pressure.  We Have not had sex and in as much as I want to( she is very beautiful), I feel it is wrong cos breaking up will be difficult afterwards(guilt won't let me). Should I quit the relationship?  Please advice me.  Thank you.

Though you had the right to do what is best for you as an individual, when you are in a relationship with your partner, you are meant to carry her along in your plans or vision for yourself. 
That said, under no circumstances should you lose focus on your vision because of your partner. The painful truth is that your partner may leave you someday, but if you don't plan your life, you will end up as a miserable individual. 
If suitors have surrounded her, then she should choose one of the suitors. You don't need to compete with anyone or beg her to choose you. 
Again, as much as you may want to help her, please always remember that she's not your responsibility, and you shouldn't spend the money meant for your business on a lady who may never marry you. 
If you want to be with her, make your decision known to her but try your best not to buy her affection with your gifts. If she wishes to leave, please keep the door open and wish her the very best. 
In all, be focused on developing yourself and adding value to your life and business.
I am not in the best position to decide if you should terminate your relationship or not but if you are not getting the companionship, friendship and the support you desire, then the best option is to terminate the relationship.


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