Monday, September 11, 2017

I am Happy and Confused with my Pregnancy!

Good evening Amara, my hubby and his dad took me back to my parents December. It's because I fought hubby and his dad said we were not living in peace that I should go and stay with my parents for a while. When I was with him, his sisters humiliated me even his mum beat me, but I endured cos I came from a poor background.
My baby is 5 years plus and I was not able to conceive cos I did family planning cos he said he doesn't need another baby yet. Later I started bleeding and the doctor said it's fibroid, so I did fibroid surgery in November.
Before they sent me packing, I was begging them and they said we should come to their village for settlement. We went in March this year, his dad sent my family and elders back saying we should go get my baby before they could talk. We called them that we were coming in May, his dad said I should come with all my son's properties. I passed through hell but they didn't take my son from me.
I didn't work cos I was thinking they would come immediately and take us back but was doing little business for a married man. The man was catering for me, my son, my help and my parents, and he relocated us cos my parents were staying in a small house.
My dad and kinsmen begged my in-laws to take me back but they said September they will come for my son and take me in December.
Hubby's siblings blocked me cos of the many apology texts I was sending. I begged my in-laws to accept me cos of the fibroid surgery I did before it will regrow,  and I really suffered looking for a second baby when they were making jest of me but they were just mocking me.
Hubby told me to remarry if I see another person. He just came once last week with his sister after over eight months to see my son cos he has been sick and I was worrying him.  Since he left me, I have not had sex with any other person except this married man recently cos I wanted to see if I could still conceive. Now am one month pregnant and I don't wish to terminate it cos of what I have passed through trying to conceive and I don't want to marry or scatter the married man's family.
I am happy and confused somehow cos my hubby married me both traditionally and in Church. I know I did a wrong thing but advice me like a sister. What steps should I take? I have been catering for my son and help and can carter for my unborn baby.

Since you prepared your mind for the pregnancy, I will suggest that you inform your married friend about your pregnancy, and work towards providing all you need for the arrival of your baby. 
Marriage is a choice not a favour, and if your husband is no longer interested in it, begging and apologizing for nothing won't be in your advantage at all. 
If you knew that he wasn't interested in the marriage, and you couldn't endure living without having sexual intimacy with your husband, the best option would have been to honorably seek for the dissolution of the marriage instead of having extramarital affairs. 
Abortion is not a better option for you considering your recent surgery, and your pregnancy is all your in-laws need to put an end to the marriage. 
One thing is certain, you are not happy with the marriage, and your husband and his family doesn't need you anymore in their lives. 
You need to brace up and face the reality of your journey with your children. You need to get a job that can cater for your need and the need of your children. You need to learn how to live without being abused or used by men to satisfy their sexual desire. 
This is the only way for you to regain your esteem and fulfill your purpose as a woman and a mother.


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