Thursday, October 26, 2017

How Do I Address this 'Friendship'?

Good day ma. Thank you for affecting lives in several beautiful ways. Please I need your advice.
I got married last year and wedded early this year. My hubby has this colleague of his who he told me they are just friends. The lady calls him anytime and they talk for hours.
Recently my instincts started telling me to keep an eye on them. I discovered their chats with hubby calling her his sweetheart, his love, his baby. Professing his love for her and sharing pornographic videos with her. This is a woman who is married with two kids! They chat till late night and talk for several hours daily cos she was recently transferred to another town.
I woke hubby up at night and confronted him but he denied it, that it's a harmless chat and the lady in question did same. Hubby even asked her to call me but I didn't take her call. Even after I have told hubby that am hurt by what he's doing, he hasn't stop the "friendship".
Please help me cos am losing it. I even asked if he'll allow me keep a friend like that since he says they are just friends but he didn't answer that. I can't stand a man that cheats.
I am soo hurt and I have lost every trust I had for him.
I await your timely response. Thank you ma. 

Let's assume that the constant call is just being friendly, but sharing pornographic contents suggests that they share much more than ordinary friendship. 
Since you have confronted him and he chose not to make amends, maybe you should consider talking to someone who has greater influence on him to discuss this with him and help him see reasons to make amends.
If that option doesn't work, then you may need to consider either managing him with this or separating from him to drive home your point. 
Choosing to be emotionally tortured by his relative with this lady is not what I will recommend for you. 
I won't rule out the option of praying and hoping that he changes, but it is best to save your sanity than allow another person to drive you to nuts. 
There are some friendships that couples must not keep, especially the type that exposes the privacy of their matrimonial home or the type that has any form of sexual undertone.
And giving room to such 'friendship' will most definitely weaken the trust in the marriage and most definitely destroy the home.

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