Sunday, October 15, 2017

We Agreed to get Married by December but I'm Confused!

Hi aunty Amara, I  have been following your forum for long now. God bless you a lot.  Please I am having issues in my relationship lately.
I started dating my guy 2015 February and he's based abroad but he does come back to stay with his family and me.
This year January, he came back and we stayed together for sometime, and I noticed that he's cheating on me though is not his first time. Each time I discussed it with him, he will apologize.
He went back on July 11th, after some days we had misunderstanding, he deleted me from his friend list. After reconciliation, he never added me back but we do chat.
I now noticed that he is dating his sister's friend, I managed to know about the girl's details and I saw her tags with my guy and all his comments from 14th of July calling her,  his queen,  treasure etc.
Anytime I asked him, he will never discuss about it, he will go offline or tell me that I want to cause problems. I am very confused because we're supposed to be getting married this Christmas, but he's very jealous over any comment from any guy on my wall.
On 13th of this month, his birthday he was celebrating with his new found love on Facebook but just that I uploaded his picture, he became angry.  He hardly call me these days, for chat.. Hmmm only when he likes.
Please I need your advice.

He's cheating, he's jealous, he's not communicating, he's not open or honest with you, but you still feel that he loves you. 
I don't know exactly how best you want me to advise you, but I want to inform you that people don't change in marriage. 
Marriage is not an experience where people can easily change from bad to good or become saints, instead it exposes so much canker worms that you never knew about your partner.
So if you cannot cope now, please don't marry him and hope that he will change. 
Secondly, if your partner cheats on you now, it only means that he doesn't love you enough to commit himself to you. So it's advisable to save your emotions instead of investing in wrong partner. 
As for the wedding plan, I feel that it's already dead on arrival, unless you have the resilience, patience, and capacity to accommodate his shortcomings.
If you are not happy, then you shouldn't force yourself in an unhealthy relationship.

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