Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Anger Is Ruining My Relationship; Help Me!

Greetings ma'am! I must confess that you are doing a very nice work, God will definetly reward you.
Please ma'am, I'm having a serious challenge on how to control my tempers. I was raised up in a family where mum and dad are hot tempered,
all my siblings too are all hot tempered.
I always regrets my action each time I acted in anger. I know it's devilish because it's destroying my relationship with people.
Could it be that it's genetic, or am I abnormal?  Please do help me.
NB: I am 28 years old.

Psychologists have varied opinion with respect to whether or not anger or behavioural trait is genetically transmitted or inherited. Some say that it may be genetic or transferable while some believe that anger is not a trait that has genetic make-up to the point of being transferable to others. 
This is what I know is true, any individual who has anger/temper issues and has identified it as an issue, has all it takes to work on his/her emotion and gain mastery over them. 
Human beings remain the only breed of living beings that have the privilege of self control, self management, and self awareness. The import of this privilege is that we can choose never to allow our emotion to control our action and/or inaction.
Now that you know the negative effect of your emotion, your focus shouldn't be on whether it's genetically transmitted or not but on ways to manage your emotion so that you don't hurt yourself so much because of the attitude of others.
First, it is healthy and normal to be angry when people offend you or hurt you. 
So being angry is not anti-human, nor does it make you an abnormal human being. 

When you are very angry about a particular issue, be mindful of what you say or do. 
Here is where self control comes in. If you find out that you may say things that would definitely hurt others, please refrain from talking, and take a walk. 
If you are so hurt that you are tempted to be violent, please and please, take a walk and leave the environment. 

Whenever you are angry, remember to address the issue, attack the problem, and stay focused on the attitude, never the individual. 

Anger points out what we are not comfortable with, our maturity will then determine how we will react to those triggers around us. 

Finally, be patient with people, be generous with patience, and always take things easy with yourself. 

Burning anger hurts you much more than it hurts the individual who offended you. When you attack others out of anger, you feel worse because anger dwells in your bosom. 

Even when you're tempted to be angry or to react in a very tense manner, remember that you are hurting yourself more than you are loving yourself. 

These tips will help you overcome anger.

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