Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Should I Give my Fiancé an Ultimatum?

Aunty Amara good day.
Please is it good to give your fiance ultimatum?
He has introduced me to his entire family and so have I but he isn't financially stable for us to settle. We've been planning to settle down since last year.
Aunty I want to leave but my heart won't let me.
I love him so much and he loves me much more. Friends don't believe we are both virgins and will remain so till we're married.
I invited him for a talk in an eatry and told him am tired, he begged and begged.. Finally he said he doesn't want me to suffer that if I see anyone that loves me and has the resources to take care of me that I can marry.
Later he excused himself to buy us food,
I caught him sobbing so he wiped his eyes fast. He later broke down encouraging me to excercise patience, begging me not to leave him as am the only one he's got.
Aunty I have waited so long, I have other suitors and age isn't on my side, though we are mates.
Should I give him ultimatum? I want to give him six months from now, if nothing happens then we'll go our separate ways.
NB: I wont appear desperate cos am very free with him

"You love him so much, and he loves you much more"
Both of you have built a friendship that is non separable by circumstances of life, and have built a trust that money cannot buy. 

Now, here is what I suggest, though it may look like a foolish suggestion knowing how unpredictable human heart can be. 

Ordinarily, I would have suggested that if he's not financially ready, you should dump him for a ready-made suitor. 

But I want to encourage you to go and build up with this man. 
Your friendship, your trust, your love, and your journey together is too precious to allow money to separate both of you. 

Sit down with him and think of ways to organize your resources and build together. Think about working and raising part of your wedding funds, think towards saving some money and surprising him in your own little way. 

If possible, both of you can still get married with as much as ₦100,000 and start off your family. 

What both of you need is to organize yourself, organize your resources and work together with one vision and purpose. 

If he's making efforts, please support him. If he's making mistakes, please correct him, and if his efforts are not yielding great results, please stand by him. 

I don't know him, but I do believe in little beginning and still believe that we have some men who will never take for granted the sacrifice of their partner in their days of little beginnings. 

Giving him ultimatum is as good as saying that whatever you share with him is not worth your sacrifice no matter how little. 

In the end, the real issue is not that age is not on your side, the real challenge can never be that your partner isn't financially successful, but that you married your best friend, and that you are happy in your marriage. 

If he represents your best friend and you see happiness whenever you think of marriage with him, please consider working with him. 

However, if you feel that you cannot wait for him anymore, you have every freedom to let him know your decision, and then move on with your life. 

There is no denying that no marriage will survive where there is little or no funds to meet the daily need of the home. 

So weigh your options critically and decide what you feel is best for you at this point in your journey. 

In the end, your decision is what matters most.

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