Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Is a Change of Name Really Necessary?

Good morning ma. I am a single mother of a 3 year old daughter I am so proud of. I am engaged at the moment to a good man who loves and cherishes my daughter and I. She calls him daddy already as he is the daddy she knows. After the issue with my ex and my leaving the relationship about two years ago, he gradually became less bothered about her welfare. He barely calls anymore to ask about her, let alone supporting financially.

I can't take the glory for her well-being today, it's God who takes care of us. Now ma, the issue is, very soon I'd be married to my partner and I was wondering if it would be wise to let her bear his name. I wouldn't want her to feel different from her siblings in the future (regarding different surnames) because my partner sees her as his daughter already and she'd be living with us.

And on the other hand, I don't want her to be mad at me in the future for making such decision without her consent. It's not like I intend hiding her biological father's identity from her! No way! If she was older, I would have sought her consent.
So I need advise from someone who has a better experience, is a change of name really necessary? Will she feel alright even in school when her other siblings bear the same surname and hers is different? I don't want anyone bothering her with silly questions about her home in school. 

I know that in my hometown, that if a man did not pay a woman’s bride price, he cannot claim her child. It’s up to you to do what your heart wants.
A very popular Nigerian actress from the southwest bears her stepfather’s name till today. When several years ago her biological father appeared and asked that she change her last name, she told him that even though it feels good to see her real father, she was not going to stop bearing her stepdad’s name because that’s the man she knows as a father.
You would have done that now if you were not married to the baby’s father. But you must be open to explain to her in future before she finds out from other people.

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