Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Should I Apologize Or Ignore my Sister-in-law?

Good afternoon ma, I have been following your post for a long time now.
I need your advice on this.
Am 27yrs old,  married but not officially yet, meaning the marriage requirement list has been fulfilled by my husband but there is no money for the open traditional and white wedding yet to make it official.
My husband's sister has been a pain in my neck, she is married but she talks carelessly not minding how I will feel, even her siblings complains a lot.
Few weeks ago she said an embarrassing words to me, and I was so angry that my mode changed and she left the brother's house cos my face was so weird. I didn't want to insult her so I waited for the brother to come back home.
I told him and he confronted the sister and the sister said she was joking. That all she has been saying was jokes.
The problem is I don't know her, how the brother put it up to her and she started her own version of acting weird towards me.
Like a child of God, I went to talk to her and probably apologize to her after an evening program in the church but this woman said I should just go that she has no problem with me. 
I smiled and told her that I don't know how the brother put it up to her but I was always hurt by her consistent usage of foul words to me....... She just flared up and told me that she has learnt her lessons. 
Now, I am free cos I finally apologized to her but was I wrong and telling the brother?  Because if I was to attack her by myself I would have so embarrassed and insulted her. 
Now she doesn't come to the brothers house which is not a problem.
My husband said I should give her time to wallow in her anger then one day I will still go to her house and still apologize.
My husband is not siding her because many times he has witnessed her speak carelessly.
Ma, please is it proper for me to apologize again or I should just give her the space and believe she doesn't exist cause everyone complains about her manner of talking but none could tell her because they all wanted to be good people and I can't be suffering and smiling. 
Please advise me
Thanks . 
God bless you.

This mother Theresa feeling you have won't be helpful to you for a long time. 
The first thing any individual must do the very moment he or she gets married is to define his or her boundaries. 
If you don't tolerate stupid and careless words, don't pretend otherwise. If you don't appreciate the attitude of your partner or his/her relatives, please speak up and make your stand known. 
Why apologize as though you did something wrong? And what do you hope to achieve with your mother Theresa fellowship? To bring her closer to you so that she will insult and abuse you? 
Let your husband know that you don't owe her any apology, and you should please learn to mind your business instead of trying to win her friendship. 
Define your boundaries and never apologize to anyone for being you. You have done all you needed to do, now face your marriage and work with your husband to build your home. 

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