Thursday, November 16, 2017

Who Should I Consider Amongst These Men?

Good afternoon ma.
I so much appreciate your good works, I have really learnt a lot from this platform.
Please I need your advise, I am confused on what to do.
I am in a relationship with someone I love  so much. He is a PA to one politician but another man is coming for my hand in marriage..
This very man(the one coming for marriage), I have known him since my final year. He is a photographer but majorly deals on video coverage.
I broke up with him cos he is much older than me(10 years) and I found out that he smokes(that I hate so much), though he swore with his life to stop it cos he doesn't want to lose me but I didn't believe that.
I told him to give me some time and again I was not ready then till after my service.
Now I am done with my service, he is back again with the marriage proposal, and wants to help me get a job cos he has connection. My problem is that I don't have feelings for him, the age gap is much and again I am in love with another man..
But I just found out that the guy I am dating is cheating cos he's always rejecting some calls anytime I am with him, and I secretly went through his phone and saw his chats with some girls but he denied everything when I asked him. I know I did wrong by going through his phone(he goes through mine too) but I did that cos I wanted to clear my doubts, and I am always the one apologizing anytime there's a fight between us just for peace even wen he is at fault.
Also he is now keeping some things away from me unlike him, but he claims to love me and wants to marry me. Please ma, what do I do? He's the one I have feelings for and not the other one.

From what you shared with me, the man you love have a higher tendency of dumping your sorry ass for another lady than the one who loves you. 
What he's doing is called controlled dating. When he's with you, he acts like you are the only one in his life, but when you are miles away, he will elope with another lady, and the story continues. 
Do you want to gamble with him? The choice is yours. 
As much as the other man loves you, you have blocked every single opportunity to know this man and his real intention for you. 
According to you, he's too old, then he smokes, then you weren't ready, likely you don't like his profession, and finally you don't have feelings for him. 
If he genuinely wished to work on his addiction to smoking, I would have said that you should consider giving him some time to know more about him, but since you don't have any form of feeling for him, I will suggest you come plain with him and then move on with your life. 
In summary, none of the two is good enough for you, and I will suggest that you move on with your life, and trust God for another man who will love you without cheating on you, and a man who you are proud as your own man.

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