Monday, December 4, 2017

Could Hubby be Obsessed with his Ex?

Hello ma! How are you doing?
I really admire you. I need honest advice.
I have caught my husband several times looking at his ex pictures or chatting with her(one particular lady).
It was after Wedding when he first did it and I found out, his sister confided in me that he loved the girl but she wasn't really into him but they dated.
He met me through one of his friends, and we dated shortly but then there was no one in his life when we dated. We were good together and he was always all over me and so I had no reason to suspect anything. I trusted him so much.
I saw him staring at her picture the first time and asked who that was. It was when I started checking his phones after Wedding that I found out that she was one of his exes. I never touched his phone while we dated for a year.
It happened again last year and I made him know I wasn't happy about it. I found out that he also asks her close friend who is also his friend about how she's doing always.
I gave him an ultimatum that I am tired of it and if he still wants to be with her, then I will leave him. He told me he has cut all ties with her and he unfriended her on Facebook.
Last week I had a dream twice about the two of them and so it happened this week I caught him chatting with someone at night and then zoomed her picture and was staring at it again.
I'm tired of all this. I have been a good wife to the best of my ability and he says it too.
It's sad to even think that he's having an emotional connection to this very lady. I have kids for him and our marriage is five years now. Please advice me! 

I know that many people will dismiss your complaint as mere starring at a picture, but I can tell you that he's obsessed with her, and whatever you are not comfortable with in your marriage is legitimate to be addressed. 
You need to sit him down and ask him to tell you more about that lady, and why he seem to be obsessed with her. 
You need to understand the foundation of their relationship and what exactly transpired. If he can offer some explanation to his relationship with her, it will help you know how to help him, that is if he wants to set himself free from his obsession. 
Where he's unable to share this with you, then you need to put your eyes down and find out if they are still in contact, if there is any form of communication between them, if he's having a private affairs with her, or have any other sort of agreement with her. 
The information you gather will help you in making the decision that's best for you. 
Do not rush it or nag so much about it, if possible, just pretend as though it doesn't worry you anymore but put your eyes and ears on the ground. 
When you have sufficient information, it will be easier for you to handle it with maturity and wisdom. I suspect that there is more to his staring at the picture of his ex. Dig deeper, and you won't be disappointed.

1 comment:

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