Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Should I Marry Him?

Hi Amara. Thank you for your advice as always.
I would like your opinion on this matter. A guy has indicated interest in getting married to me and has gone as far as getting an engagement ring and asking to see my people which I refused at the time, as I was uncertain he was what I wanted.
He has remained persistent for close to eighteen months, despite my refusal of the proposal.
My problem with accepting this proposal is that I am indifferent to this guy. Yes we tell stories, laugh, are civil towards each other and I wish him well. But, I don't have that feeling. For example I can spend weeks without calling him or sending a message (he never really complains about this though).
I am confused as to if I should just marry him, maybe I would learn to love him with time and stop being indifferent or if I should tell him to move on (I have told him to on three occasions but he won't listen).
I really need your advise. Thanks

If what you meant was whether you should consider him out of pity, please for heaven's sake, let him know that you cannot get married to him and move on with your life.
But if you you are contented with his personality, you are comfortable with his friendship, and you now want to take the risk of getting married to him and building intimate life with him, then you may consider that option. 
There is every possibility that as you get married to him, open your heart to him, and then allow him to be himself and express his love for you, you may connect with him and fall in love with him. 
HOWEVER, you need to be sure and certain that you genuinely want to build a future with him, and not to punish/torture him emotionally/psychologically. 
You need to be certain that you won't compare him with another man or make mockery of his personality. 
You need to understand the place of commitment, communication, mutual responsibility for your marriage. 
For a man to plead for eighteen months, trust me, if you must consider him, please be kind enough to appreciate him for who he is. 
But if you don't envisage any future with him, please let him know the truth and move on with your life. 


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