Tuesday, February 20, 2018

How Do I Move on After Losing my Dignity and Respect for Love?

Good morning ma. I need advice from you and your followers. My issue is quite lengthy, bear with me. I was in a relationship for twelve years.
Within the first three years I refused sleeping with him since I was very young, and wanted to keep my virginity. He started sleeping with other girls with the excuse of refusing to sleep with him. I later accepted. Along the line I dated someone else. When he discovered, he was furious and I broke-up with the guy. I didn't sleep with the other guy.
I went to the University and we started living together in my room. I shared my allowance with him since he was from a broken home, and only his mother took care of him.
We stayed for a year and he moved to a different town to school, and I was living with his sister and I was paying the rent and bills.
By the end of 2011 when I was graduating from the University, I became pregnant for him. I was afraid of what my family, especially my brother who was sponsoring me, will think. I thought of having an abortion, he said he will find out about the procedure but he never did. We kept the baby.
In 2012, he won the DV lottery. When I was pregnant he changed completely. He was sleeping with different girls. But there was one particular girl he was always with. I caught them together on three different occasions but still forgave him.
I one day removed the girl's number from his phone and texted the girl. He became angry and shouted at me. My brother abandoned me when he learnt I was pregnant.
In 2013, he traveled to America. I texted the girl, mocking her that he traveled without telling her. It led to a big problem in which my family was involved. My boyfriend supported this lady. It was hell. He told everyone how I was bad and my family.
I forgot to tell you everyone in his family knows me. I have spent holidays and weekends at his place since we are from the same village.
Everyday has been one problem to another. He tells me he is paying me back for cheating on him nine years ago (2007/2008). He claimed I didn't love him.
We spent months without talking. He tells me he will come back and marry me and plan to relocate us but the next day he starts saying something else. He insults me and always uses the other girl to rub on my face. Now his sisters have started giving me attitude. Everything I say or do, he finds fault in it.
Ma, how do I really move on. We don't talk about any form anything that has to do with our son. I have lost my self dignity because of love.
I will be 30 years in May, a single mother. My job is just to keep body and soul together and save a little. How do I pick up the pieces of my life and move on completely. No matter how I try, I still always think of him and feel I will never find love.
Help me ma. 

When you say that you will never find love, I am tempted to ask if you are currently with a man who loves you and treats you with respect. 
My joy is that you know so well that this man doesn't love you, doesn't have any plans for you, and will never treat you with respect and dignity. 
He sees you like an accident that bumped into his life, and no matter what you do to let him know how you feel about him, you will always be his second best, never his best. 
It never too late to retrace your footsteps and walk in your own path. Your greatest need is not a man but loving yourself and living a responsible life. 
What you need is to give yourself some dignity, respect, and to organize yourself so that you can provide all that your son needs to become a great success in life. 
What you need is a vision that is bigger than your own limitations, and a drive that will challenge you to become better lady. 
Love will come when it will come, but to subject yourself to be humiliated, abused, and disrespected by this man and his family, is what I feel that you don't deserve as a lady. 
Once you can see clearly how much this man doesn't love you or want you in his life, then you have all you need to decide what you want for yourself and your son. 
You deserve to be respected and appreciated by others, please don't reduce your value for the sake of love.

1 comment:

  1. My wife was so smooth at hiding her infidelity and I had no proof for months, I saw a recommendation about a Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating wife’s text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on her and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your wife is an expert at hiding her cheating adventures contact Mr James


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