Friday, March 16, 2018

Am I Being Difficult to Him?

Good afternoon ma, thank you for being there for couples in these times. Ma, I am married with kids, my hubby is God fearing man, and tries to be good to me and the kids; provides and loving; he is hardworking and is also a private person being an artist too, but he is so wrong willed.
When he asks me for advice about something and I advice him, we end up arguing for long and not end it well, and then he says no one understands his dreams which hurts me. Sometimes too, when I talk to him about something I feel he is wrong, I shout at him and that makes him see me as difficult, he says he wants me to be always soft spoken even when I feel he is wrong and this is really hard for me.
Ma, there is this very nice side of him that attracts ladies to him. He listens to people online and engages them in good conversations, but in the long run he tells them they are pretty, he enjoys chatting with them, and he is always there when they need him. He also encourage them meaningfully but I feel he is flirting.
Sometimes, it's someone from his past, he tells them he misses them, and they can chat even at night. He feels it's absolutely normal especially if the lady is an artist too, but I feel it's cheating.
He sees it as him not doing anything wrong, that I am the only one he has but this hurts me and he tells me, they just opens up to him. He can even go as far as discussing about love with them and their exes, this makes them feel so good and want to always chat with him.
He tells me he is encouraging them, sometimes he uses words like, we found each other and we have a lot in common and we are bonding.
He feels I am being difficult by getting hurt and cutting him off, but it hurts most because this is the time he should use to chat with me and for us to bond more.
He only chats with me when he isn't chatting with them or is far away. What do you think ma? Am I being difficult to live with? Am I choking him? What should I do?

Beautiful, your problem is half solved, what I feel you should focus on is working on your own weaknesses and then utilizing the information you have about him to draw him closer to you. 

He's a man who is soft spoken, meaning that you can engage his mind by being soft spoken, romantic, and using sweet words to pass your thoughts and suggestions to him. 
First, you must learn how to compliment him, massage his ego, make him feel proud, important, and respected by you. 
Then, learn how engage his mind by commending his little efforts, celebrating his successes, and then suggesting ways he can do better.
I will suggest that you don't advise him, since your advice puts him off. 
Remember, his reaction or response is his direct understanding of your words. Whatever he seeks your opinion about, always let him know that you trust his judgment and good intentions. 

Always have this at the back of your mind that the volume of your voice does not necessarily convey your message to him but it amplifies your pain and disappointment. 
Now, you must learn how to communicate even when you are hurt, in such a way that he gets the message, not your voice. 
If possible, discuss your grievances only when you are emotionally stable and calm, and avoid saying those things that will most likely crush his emotion. 

It's normal for two couples to have a different perception of things. But how you express your thoughts will determine whether he will make amends or ignore you. 

Let him know exactly how you feel about his constant chats with other ladies, most especially in your matrimonial bed. There are some things that shouldn't happen in your bedroom, and one of those is chatting with others in your bedroom. 

Let him know that your marriage and your communion should come first before any other kind of chats or communication with others. 

If he feels like counseling others or whatever community service he feels like doing, he should do them before getting to the bed. 

Don't try to control his life or dictate how he should communicate with his friends, and as long as there is no legitimate evidence of cheating or infidelity, please do not raise dust where there is no sand. 

I believe that when you work on your approach and be a little more strategic in the way you share your thoughts, hopefully, you will get the feedback you desire. 


  1. My wife was so smooth at hiding her infidelity and I had no proof for months, I saw a recommendation about a Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating wife’s text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone calls conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. ( Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on her and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your wife is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact him. thank you

  2. A lot of trials I made .i didn’t just wanted to give up because I was really suspecting my husband of infidelity and then I saw a post online of one Mrs Roseline about mr Alex the great hacker .i told myself this will be the last time to seek help of an hacker but to my greatest surprise this great man Alex helped me hack into my husband text messages and it helped my marriage as my assurance came that my ex now was a cheater. Contact today if you need help in hacking your spouse to see what they are doing behind you also you can text him on this number which is +15186284630 or text him on what’s app through this number which is +15185049364Tell him from Doris farmer


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)