Wednesday, July 25, 2018

He Nearly Took my Life; I'm Terrified to go Back.

It all started in 2010 when a Pastor from The Lord's Chosen ministry came to me and said he wanted to marry me and my parent said no, but because my parent were not Chosen then, 
I was the only one that came out of Roman Catholic and joined Chosen because I was searching for God because I wanted to know more of Him.
So when this man came, he told me that he is the senior pastor in Malawi, and then I was about entering school of Nursing, and he told me not to worry that he will train me in school of Nursing in Malawi because they have the best nursing school according to him, so I believed him but I never told my parent because they were not Chosen members.

In Chosen, you only believe whatever is going on in your life, only Chosen members must know about it, and anyone who is not a Chosen is a sinner and they will go to hell. Then I hated my parents because of this church, that was why I never listened to them, and I made my passport without telling them.

This man said our traditional marriage will take place which I agreed, but on that day, only one person came which is a man of 23 years old, and my people said that traditional marriage is not done that way, and they said they wanted to see the man because the man never came, he only said there was a call for him to come down to Malawi so I believed him.

But I never knew it was all lies.
Before then, he said he is a Nigerian and later I found out this year he is from Cameroon.

When I came back from the village, the man called me and said something to me and I began to do all he said but not the one my parent said. In December, I traveled to Malawi to meet him, and my parents knew nothing about it because they were not Chosen.

Mummy, I saw hell in the hands of this man.
From that period of time, 2010, it was beating and beating
I got pregnant, I lost the child out of beating in six months.

He never allowed me to talk to my parent on phone, and he even called my parent and said they will never see me again in this life, 
If they will see me, it will be my dead body.

In 2011, I lost a son and he then gave me three months to get pregnant, if not, he will kill me. That was when I met a woman in that country, I told her all I was going through.

She took me to her Pastor and he prayed for me, and on the last month, I found out I was pregnant. Mummy, beating started to the point of death, but to the glory of God I had the baby and it was a girl.

I begged him to take me back to my parents but he refused, and to the glory of God the Nigerians in that country came and found out what he was doing to me, and they called the church and they removed him as the pastor. They also asked him to send me to my parents but he refused.

I remember when I got to the country, I heard a voice that said, 'if I must come out of this, when he is speaking, I should not speak no matter how angry I am', so he was doing everything, I was just looking at him but I was already dead inside of me.
Mummy the beating is just too much for my kind, just because of stubbornness ma. That was when I started asking God for mercy for disobeying my parents because they saw all these.

In 2014, I found out I was pregnant again, then he said that the child was not his, and I carried that child in pain and too much beating; names calling; and no food. 
I gave birth to that baby at six months and a week, and the doctor said the boy will not make it, but I stood in prayers telling God I have lost a son before, I will not lose this one. Then I took him home, I told the doctor let the boy die in my house instead of hospital, but to the glory of God the boy's healing started from house.
On getting home, I saw the cloth of another lady in the house, but I never said a word.
He brings women to the house and I will be there, but I will just be looking because I remember what God told me.
I am a woman of prayers and in the family of six, I am the last girl and I am the only one that pray and they all know me.
He talks to me like a nobody.

Before my son came, I was in labour for three days and the Doctor said that only CS can save me and the baby, but on my way to have the operation done, my son came out on the door of the operation room.

Please ma, this man refused to change and I don't want another person to raise my kids for me. I am afraid of going back to this man and at a time I wanted to just kill myself, and I did everything but death refused to come. God said to me that He made me go through all these so that I will have a message to give out.

Aunty Amara, please advice me ma. 
I don't like talking about myself outside, that is why I decided to send it here.

He just came back one day and started beating me, there was a pastor's wife there asking him my offense, but he never said a word and that was the period labour started.
But I heard a voice that said to me in 2016, I will see my parents in 2016, second week of March. I just prayed and worshipped God, 
I asked my parents for forgiveness, and they forgave me and received me and my children. Since then, I have been living with my parent now.

Mummy, on first week of March, he just came to me that he is traveling to America, and in the morning he left me with two kids without food or money to feed on. 
I remember a Pastor telling me to always save, that one day I will need it.

The moment he left, I opened my saving box, I brought out the money, that was what I used to bring back my kids to Nigeria. 
They sent my children to one of the best school in Lagos here with their money. 
Even me, they asked me to go back afresh to attend nursing school which I am doing right now and will also attend Bible school, but this man called me that he will kill anybody that will stand between him and the children, that I am his wife and his word is final. 

A marriage that makes you feel like taking your life is no longer a healthy marriage. 
A marriage that is characterized by beating, starvation, infidelity, and disrespect, is only but a death trap to the abused. 
As you may have learnt, the foundation of your marriage is deceptive, and it is obvious from your mail that you are married to a man who have no relationship with God nor does he have any regard for human life and dignity. 
Since you have two children from the union, you need to work out modalities on how he will be involved in the life and growth of your children. That, he has a right to demand for, but to intimidate, coerce or manipulate you into continuing the marriage with him is what you must resist legally. 
If you wedded him in the church, then it means that you may need to consider separating from him legally to enable you live your life, that is if you have decided to terminate your marriage with him.
The first thing you must do is to talk to yourself about what you want, and then let your family know your decision with respect to the marriage. 
Then you must get a police order or a legal order restraining him from tampering with a strand of hair in your body. 
Finally, you will then work out modalities on how to take care of your children, and how he can visit them or support them. 
Thank God for delivering you from the claws of the devil, I pray for divine healing and restoration of all you have lost as a result of this marriage. 
I pray for clarity of vision and God's provision for your children.

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