Sunday, August 5, 2018

A Strange Lady Wants to Destroy my Marriage!

Good day aunty Amara.. please I need your advice on an issue that has been bothering my mind.
I got married three years ago and ever since then it's been one problem or another-from infidelity to domestic abuse.
My husband can sleep with anything in skirt, he engages in sexchat, phone sex, physical sex with different ladies, masturbation..
I have talked and talked but all to no avail. He chats with girls till midnight and sometimes till 2 - 3 a.m the next day, and it's really weighing me down.
The reason why I've come to seek for your advice is that: just a week ago, he came in contact with a girl he knew many years ago on Facebook and from there he collected her number, and they started chatting on WhatsApp.
Ma, this girl is desperate to destroy my marriage, she always send her nude pix to my husband, even her vagina and all.. She professes her love for my husband as if shes madly in love with him.. The way she composes all her messages amazes me.. They always sex chat, telling my hubby that she can't wait to give my hubby the orgasm he has not experienced before.
Ma, only few men with the fear of God would read such messages and won't be tempted. She even told my husband that they should hook up very soon so that she would have a taste of him even if it's just once and she'll move on. She's planning to travel down to meet him now(not where we live but the state capital) because my hubby always travel there for official purpose.
I don't know how to stop all these nonsense because I don't know why a lady will be that desperate. Sometimes I think the girl has a mission because she said my husband must sleep with her, even if they aren't going to marry that what she has been longing for all these while God has made their path to cross again; that this time, she's not letting my husband slip away from her again.
I got to know all these through their chats. I don't know how to go about this because if I confront my husband, he'll tell me I have no right to invade his privacy(he passworded his phone not knowing that I know the password). He also don't take to correction.. always telling me that it is my marriage that should be paramount to me, that I should not bother myself with what he does on WhatsApp or Facebook..but, he always meet the people he chats with on Facebook physically and even sleep with some of them.
I didn't notice all these while we were courting. I started noticing when we got married.
Note that I didn't marry him because of money as some people would think.. he didn't even have anything when I married him, and up till now we are still managing but I just don't understand again.
Ma, please how should I address this issue?

When you said that a strange lady wants to destroy your marriage, I literally asked myself if what you experience with your husband is actually marriage. 
Let us just say that you are in a bondage with a man who is out to destroy your life and all you have ever dreamt of as a human being and as a lady. 
Let me help you understand what you are experiencing in your marriage. 
When your husband cannot respect your emotion, personality, and the marriage bond between you and him, it is no longer called marriage but a bondage. 
When a man shares his nakedness with strange ladies at his convenience, and there is neither privacy, fidelity or emotional security, there is nothing amazing being married to him for years. 
Maybe I should remind you of what you stand to lose with this man. 
Because he is not faithful, he is exposing you to sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, and potential attacks from strange women. 
There is no emotional security; you will be the one to labor and carry the responsibility of your children and the family; and his attitude can push you to depression, high blood pressure or risk of losing your life as a result of constant emotional and psychological torture. 
The question I think you should be asking yourself is; is this really the kind of marriage that you had in mind when you accepted to marry him? 
If you wish to fight these ladies, how many ladies will you fight to keep your husband from sleeping around? For how long will you continue to expose yourself to strange women all because your husband is too generous with his private part? How happy will you be fighting every strange women that he sleeps with? 
As you answer married woman to the world, are you genuinely happy with this marriage as a human being? 
You claimed that the lady is out to destroy your marriage but your husband has been destroying your marriage right from the first day he decided to sleep with a strange woman. 
And when you cannot ask for an explanation, discuss critical issues with your husband, and he no longer see anything wrong with his actions to you, I feel that you have lost almost every chance of redeeming your marriage. 
Maybe you should consider involving his family and your family, and then present your issues with them(with evidences), then evaluate what is more important to you. 
You are the only one who knows exactly what you deserve or wish to tolerate, and if you feel that you can endure and pray for him, then you may start with some fasting and prayers, but if you know that you cannot cope with his attitude anymore, you have the freedom to walk away. 
Remember that fighting a strange woman who is in love with your husband will never stop your husband from cheating, and if you cannot fix the person closest to you, then don't border trying to expose yourself to strange women. 

Good luck

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