Thursday, August 2, 2018

I Have Been in a Hellish Marriage for Eighteen Years; Advice Me!

Please ma help me just the way you have been helping others. I pray that God will surely bless you, Amen. 
I have been in one hell called marriage for eighteen years and I have endured all the pains because of my children and because I can not cater for them if l should leave the house.
The main problem now is that he has refused to allow me to do any business or anything at all that can give money, and he doesn't give me enough money for food let alone my upkeep. In fact, he said that he rather die than to see me do anything that will give money. As I write now, I am seriously sick and I don't have money to treat my self and he just doesn't care, instead he spend on drinks etc. Please ma, you and your fans should advice me before I make mistake because I am just tierd of the marriage.


I had to verify your profile to confirm that you are not a teenager or a minor married to a man for eighteen years. 
Adults make their own informed decisions, choices, and they also face the benefits and consequences 
of their actions/decisions. 
So permit me to itemize my thoughts based on your mail. 

You are in a hell called marriage not because of your children or because you can't pay their bills, but simply because you chose to retain the 'Mrs' title much more than you valued your dignity and happiness as a woman. 

You cited that you stayed back because you don't have funds to pay the bills of your children. 
If you are genuinely serious about taking the bills of your children, what you will do is get a job and not stick with an irresponsible man. 
So the day you decide to equip yourself financially, you will realize that you have all the freedom to decide what you want in life and pay the bills. 

When you say that he didn't allow you to do anything, I'm tempted to ask if at eighteen years of being married, your husband ties your hands and tells you what to do or what not to do for your own good. 
Again, as an adult, you have the legitimate right to work and earn a living for yourself if you wish to, and anyone who stands by your way is simply an obstacle that you must resist with legal and every other legitimate means.

When you are sick, you seek medical care and not subject your health at the mercy of your husband who is enjoying his life. 
If your husband cannot give you money to take care of your health, contact your family, and if your family fails, consider your church or any other relatives or associates that can help you with funds to take care of your health. 

When you are tired of a marriage, you know how best to handle your decision. You know the easiest route to let your husband know your decision, and also let your family know your stand. 
If you are waiting for an advise to know what to do in an eighteen years of hellish experience tagged marriage(according to you), then I might as well say welcome to your honeymoon, enjoy your ride. 

If you can't stand up for what you know you deserve or want in life, no advice or suggestion will fix you. 
If you still blame everything/everyone around you for not making a decision for your own life, then no advice will be sufficient to take charge of your life and happiness. 
Always remember, if there is no vein connecting you to anyone in your life, it simply means that you are 100% responsible for your choices and decisions in life. 
And if you wish to get the best in life, then you need to stop pleasing people and protect your interest and your sanity.
Good luck

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