Sunday, September 16, 2018

How Do I Prevent Him from Having Access to my Son?

Greetings to you ma, please I really need your advice. I met a guy last two years through his elder sister, the guy promised to marry me, and came to my house and paid some dues and got me pregnant. I had a male child, and he abandoned me and the baby. I have been the one taking care of my baby's upkeep with the help of my parents. 
He refused to complete the bride price and the wedding.
He told me that he's based in London but I just found out that he was officially married to a Spanish woman and had two kids, and they all live in Spain, that's why he warned me never to call him nor go to his family house again, that his Spanish wife will come back this year. Out of annoyance, I got to chat the woman up on Facebook and I told her that I am his wife and I had a baby for him. The guy and his family members said they don't have any business with me and my family but will come for my child in less than 10 years.
I am working presently and doing my best to make sure my child lacks nothing, presently my parents suggested that I travel out of the country for my masters degree to enable me move on and forget about my past. But I made enquiries and they said they can only grant me visa but it won't be easy to travel with my son with the student visa. I am scared of leaving my son here in Nigeria because I am sure the Spanish woman and her kids will disappoint my ex and he might come and take my child once I travel since we are from the same state. 
Please what's your advice? 
Thanks

The country you wish to study your program is what will determine to a large extent how difficult or otherwise it will be for you to travel with your son. 
I will suggest that you consult with a genuine travel agent and seek for the best suggestion that will help you travel with your son. Where that is not feasible, your second alternative will be to travel, settle down, then come back and pick up your son. This might take between six months to two years for you to perfect your plan for your son and possibly take him with you. 
I don't think that he will just go to your parents and take your son without some form of negotiation or agreement between you and him. 
As for your marital status, it's obvious that you don't mind being his side wife if he can make the necessary payments. Since he's not willing to officially make you his wife, it is left for you to decide whether to keep pursuing this 'marriage' or move no with your life. 
As you should know, having a baby for a man doesn't make you his wife automatically, and all he did was to use you to propagate his gene since his marriage with the Spanish woman may not give him the right to bring his children to Nigeria.

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