Friday, November 26, 2021

Common Sense in Marriage and Relationship

 Common Sense Tips in Marriages/Relationships


🔹When funds dwindle or financial capacity is weak, family planning should be adopted and child bearing should be stopped. 

Why? Children are blessings from the Lord. Blessings with huge financial implications. Simply put, raising children will cost you a hand and a leg. You don't bring them into the world when you don't have the capacity to give them your best. 

🔹When abuse becomes inevitable , quitting should become a necessity. 

Why? The moment you set out to forgive and tolerate abuse or abusive tendencies, you create a new environment that endorses, enforces, and enables abuse. Simply put, forgiveness doesn't stop an abuser from abusing, instead it enables an abuser to abuse his or her victim knowing that there's no consequences for his/her actions. 

🔹Red flags don't get better with tolerance. 

Why? Red flags are simply those attributes or traits that trigger your brain  into emotional or psychological distress. They're your brains support mechanism designed to protect you or prevent you from going into depression, anxiety, or emotional/psychological breakdown. The moment you ignore them or tolerate them, you create a suppression mechanism that may never stand the test of time. Because what you can't cope with doesn't get better with time. 

🔹If you don't have the mental, emotional, and financial capacity to lead a married life, don't get married. 

Why? Promises do fail. Plans do change. Intentions do crumble . Humans do evolve. You don't walk into marriage with the hope of eternal life and happily ever after. You plan, prepare, and negotiate your way into a healthy and sane marriage. With adequate preparation, you are one step ahead of any challenges a marriage may bring your way. And when things don't work as expected, you are not left stranded or hopeless. 

🔹When you find yourself in a relationship/marital mess, cut your losses as soon as possible. 

Why? Forgiveness is a good virtue, not like we have any alternative. But forgiveness without strategic projection is foolishness. If he's irresponsible, stop popping babies. If she's abusive, stop popping babies.If both parties can't lead a healthy and sane marriage, stop popping babies. If your marriage is run by pastors and relatives, please stop popping babies. More babies in a dysfunctional marriage will only make things more complex. 

🔹What actions can't prove, your brain shouldn't hold unto them.

Why? Words are cheap. Cheaper than your life. Cheaper than your emotion. Anyone can make promises and speak eloquently, but only through actions are words established. Words become flesh through actions Promises come alive through actions. If it was not lived, it shouldn't be written nor held unto. 

🔹Promises made during a pleasure ride is only as valid as the orgasm lasts. 

Why? During a pleasure ride, all that matters is orgasm. Every other thing is secondary. That's how the brain was wired to work. Now you know. If you want to have an objective discussion/negotiation with your partner, it shouldn't be done with a glass of alcohol nor during coitus, in your best interest that is. 

... But there's a problem, those in love rarely have an objective sense of reasoning because the desire to make the best of the relationship/marriage overwhelms the cognitive capacity of making objective decisions at critical stages/moments in their relationship/marriage. 

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