Wednesday, June 14, 2017

I Feel so Hurt and Cheated!

Good evening ma, may the good Lord reward your kind deeds. Please advice me on this.
I had this guy from my town, he is 39 but single, he had a child with his ex, though he said they were not married.
He started talking to me lately, and I was responding. He started with plenty questions which range from my relationship, my love life, what I think about marriage and kids, etc. I answered every of his questions though I told him I have no boyfriend yet.
He started asking for us to see, and he also started referring me as his madam. I spoke to some friends about it, and they encouraged me to see him first and not conclude yet.
I started talking for like three weeks now, then on Friday, he called me and I was on call, he said I should have dropped my call to know why he's calling, even if its my father I 'm speaking with on phone. I told him I don't do things like that and that even if it's my father, I will answer him well before returning his calls, he got angry and said I don't take him serious, that I don't even take him the way he took me, I got touched and I decided to visit him.
I told him I will come on Tuesday and go on Wednesday. He accepted, on Monday, he booked my flight to and fro, I got to where he stayed on Tuesday, and he started coming close, I told him no way. But honestly I have this issue of strong will, always standing on my word which friends do warn me against. I said okay let me not be too hard, I gave in, then the next day, I left.
Since then ma, I noticed he does not call like he used to anymore, and responding my chat is now at his convenience. I feel so hurt and cheated ma. It's really hard to believe he invited me for his lustful urge, used and dumped me.
Or should I say I wasn't like he expected, and he felt disappointed. What do you think I should do ma? Really I hardly visit guys and this one I tried to see if things will work out, look at what happened. I'm 30. Thank you so much.

If you have been following this page for over eight months now, and you have also in your eight months of knowing this page read my blog and my thoughts on issues like this, and still chose to visit a man in his bedroom, I feel that you chose your own expectations. 
Your mail is actually painful, but I will try my best not to sound pained by your experience. Sometimes it is wiser to learn from others than to experience the same misfortune yourself, but since your friends felt otherwise, maybe you should share your experience with them for more suggestions. 
I want to categorically state it here that a man who is horny and sexually frustrated can do anything or go to any length to get sex using any means available to him. 
That he asked you about marriage and acted like a serious suitor doesn't in any way mean or suggest that he's interested in getting married to you, and shouldn't be enough reason for you to open your legs and receive his penis. 
If some men can pay millions of naira to have sex with prostitutes, what on earth made you think that he's a good guy simply because he paid your flight ticket? 
Wake up and go check yourself for sexually transmitted infections, and maybe pregnancy test. There is no need waiting for his feedback or response. He wanted sex, you wanted marriage, he got sex by paying your flight ticket, you got cheated because you refused to apply caution where it was necessary. 
As painful as it is, please dust yourself and move on with your life. Maybe you should learn to give your body some respect and be wiser with some of these irresponsible men who use marriage proposals and antics to convert single ladies into single mothers. 
Please embrace yourself and add value to your life. Being 30 without a man is not a curse nor should you pause your life simply because you are not yet married. Focus on adding value to yourself and making impact in life, and allow God to bless you with a man who is genuinely interested in marriage and not your body alone.

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