Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Will pregnancy make things easier?

Good morning Aunty Amy...
Am a lady of 26, a graduate..i met a guy in my final year...
He proposed marriage i didn't accept cos i didn't love him then...
he kept coming, along the line i fell in love with him and accepted his proposal when i was doing my NYSC..
The day i said yes to him was the day he brought wine to my house and introduced himself to my family..
This guy really loves me and i love him too..
He doesn't pressurize me for sex cos he knows am a virgin..
The wahala now is that few of his siblings said no to the marriage cos of this osu cast system in Igbo land..
The family is divided into two..some said yes and some said no..
The mum is late and the dad said the osu issue doesn't matter before he died last year..
He now wants me to get pregnant for him to make things easier for him so he said...
What do i do cos am confused...we've been together since four years now...
House pls advice me, no insults..
Sorry for the long write up.

Dear sender,
Getting pregnant for him may never make them approve of you but will only make you the enemy they cannot do without.
If your boyfriend cannot convince his siblings that he is old enough, mature and responsible enough to know what he needs in a woman and who to marry,then I may not encourage you to get married to him.
This is because you need a man who will not need pregnancy to defend you nor public sympathy to approve of you.
You need a man who appreciate you well enough to go any length to support and celebrate you to anyone who cares to ask.
It is his responsibility to tell his family who he desires to marry and if he cannot do that, then getting pregnant wouldn't guarantee that.
If a man or a woman or a child be in Christ Jesus, he or she is a new creature new things have passed away and behold all they have become new.
It is both self explanatory and easy to understand that is if their opinion of you be true.
Nobody has the right to condemn or judge another for whatever perceptions they may have.
So encourage and support him to do the right thing and not to gamble with pregnancy that may leave you a single mum.
Take some time to talk to God about this.
He has the power to control every heart and that of his siblings wouldn't be beyond his authority.
In all remember, a pregnancy doesn't guarantee "Mrs" tag !


  1. I don't think his siblings should decide for him,but it is somehow to get married to someone who is Osu in IGBO land it is not allowed and it is an abomination,that is why before you start a relationship with someone you have to ask the necessary questions to know who the person really is. #Ella

  2. Hello! Truth be told, if you get pregnant for him, am sorry to say that it doesn't in any way make things easier for him. First of all, his family is divided due to the osu thing which some people take very serious, so it's best his family come to an agreement to how the whole thing goes before the marriage proper because if you in a way get pregnant and at the end the marriage doesn't hold, you might just invite suffering to yourself because a lot of things will come up which I don't think you will like and even if the marriage holds, I'm not sure you will appreciate the attitude of some of your inlaws.

    So my dear the best thing is for him to talk to his family and also make inquiries on the osu thing to know how it works. If everything works out fine, then it will be to the advantage of you both.

    God bless.

  3. '...If your boyfriend cannot convince his siblings that he is old enough, mature and responsible enough to know what he needs in a woman and who to marry,then I may not encourage you to get married to him....' ~ Amara (c)2015

    Your man's suggestion sounds wise,but it is actually very....foolish. Hope that's not his way of solving problems? For how long is he going to always look for short-cuts? You don't become a man that way. It always pays to do the right thing,and do things right,so you don't destroy the foundation of your marriage,and create unnecessary problems for yourselves in the future. This is an opportunity for both of you,especially your man,to demonstrate his maturity,and that ability to do what is right,irrespective of whose ox is gored and take responsibility for his choices. If that cannot be done,forget the marriage - it won't survive the challenges of the future. ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

  4. For some reasons,am not just comfortable with this kind of MENTALITY & VALUE-SYSTEM being demonstrated by your man,and to a little extent,you. Does it mean you guys do not have STRONG CONVICTIONS about what you believe is right? Does it mean you guys are not so convinced about what you believe is right that you are willing to defend it with your life? That,at the sign of opposition,you are already contemplating compromising? Looking for a short-cut,instead of going the full length and growing through the process,and strengthening your love? If this is the case,how are you going to survive the challenges of your future,cos life will always be harsh on men and women who are not strongly convinced about what is right that they believe in?

    I hope this is not your fiance's way of handling issues?
    I hope this is not his way of solving problems?
    I hope this is not his way of dealing with life? ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101


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