Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Men's Annoying Habits - Part 1

According to Merriam Webster dictionary, habit is a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance. It's an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary 

To simplify it, habit is a thing you do often and without thinking, especially something that is hard to stop doing. People often go through a lot of struggle just to quit their bad habit. A habit may be good as well as bad.

I understand so many men grew up as street boys without having anyone put them through in life. But guys, you can choose to make a change. Just that little change could be what you need for a breakthrough.

But what about those who don’t do them and still seem successful? Well am sure we know people who have acquired great wealth and who are ruthless, unpleasant, and dictatorial and sail morally pretty close to the wind. If you are one of those who care only about their bank accounts, it is entirely down to personal choice.

Life is not all about making lots of money and being incredibly successful. It is quite simply about how you feel inside and how you

affect people around you. You can only get older but not necessarily wiser. If you don’t work hard to change certain habits chances are you will grow old with them and you will definitely get embarrassed by them someday.

Now, let's look at those embarrassing habits in men
When a former president of Nigeria was caught picking his nose on national TV, journalists made it the topic for the month. But some Nigerian men (journalists included) are guilty of this crime. Despite being such a common habit, the observation of the activity in another person commonly provokes mixed feelings of disgust and amusement. 
I was invited, alongside other speakers, to a youths conference in Accra, Ghana. I was speaking when I caught this smartly dressed young doctor in this disgusting act. Because I saw him doing it, I couldn't ask for my pen which he collected earlier; thank goodness, it wasn't an expensive one.

What is Amara trying to say? We all pick our nose either in public or in private. Friedich Bischinger, a lung specialist claims that nose-picking combined with nasal mucus eating is beneficial to the immune system( I didn’t say that). It is more honourable picking your nose in the convenience and having your hands watched at once. Pick your nose in private, nobody wants to see the other person do it even though we all do it.

Ear Cleaning
Some guys are in the habit of folding paper and using it to dig their ears while they speak with you; this too, is not acceptable. There are cotton swabs (buds) sold in the market for your tender ears. This should be used in your own privacy. Also avoid dropping, carelessly, your used cotton swabs. 

This is characterized by the deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. A good number of guys are poor just because of procrastination. You wake up every morning expecting a big business breakthrough, believing God and claiming everything claimable; when are you going to wake up from your dream and start somewhere, no matter how little? It is only lazy men that procrastinate. Stop moving round the house in boxer briefs, reading every sports and political magazine, with chewing stick in your mouth at 10am (one of the reasons you have your wife insulting you). 

When you want something, go for it. Stop leaving for tomorrow what you should do today. Don't be afraid of failure. Failure is fine, aiming for second best isn’t. You can never learn without failing. Successful people are those who are never afraid to fail. Successful people are risk-takers, even if they fail five times on a singular project, it's never a good enough reason to give up. Keep trying until you become that which you want to be.

Loud Ringtones
This one makes me feel like changing my seat or if possible, flying out of the aircraft-Loud ringtones. No matter your status, loud ringtones automatically gives you a wrong identity.
Guys no matter the level of noise around you, your ring volume must be for your ears only. It’s unfortunate some of you believe that others around are being entertained by it. Let me share a very embarrassing incident with you. I boarded an aircraft flying from Abuja to Lagos, Nigeria. Just before the plane started taxiing, a well dressed man in his late 50s shouted to the hearing and utter embarrasment of all in the plane ‘’ Biodun, Biodun, omo  mo ti nbo lati Abuja, omobinrin ti o bimo fun mi yen nbo wa ri mi ni office mi , so fun pe ki o duro de mi,’’ (Biodun, Biodun, I am on my way from Abuja, that lady who has a baby for me is coming to see me, tell her to wait for me in the office) What insolence, what unfeeling, what uncultured habit? This does not make for a well groomed man both in content and mode of passing his message across. 

 When you find yourself in a noisy environment, the best you can do is set your phone on vibration mode. When you pick up your phone talk quitely and calmly so that you do not assault the sensibility of people forced together with you in a public space.
Aside ringtones, some men are guilty of shouting in the name of talking. Please guys, take a clue from the ladies who are ladies indeed. Your discussion is with the person on the other side not the people around you. Some also use it as a means to impress friends and colleagues. You want to let that girl know you have a fat bank account (yahoo boys), you want that other guy to know you are highly connected ( name dropper). Boy, we are not interested; it only tells us you are one of those uncultured men.

Nail Biting
Biting of nails is one habit that has proven difficult to quit. Some men have their nails almost looking leprous. The ladies can get away with the look because of artificial nails but guys, no way out for you. To help you out of this, simply buy the nail treatment called  'Nibble Free'. This clear nail polish leaves you with a very bitter taste for days when applied as a polish. This way, you won’t be able to bite those nails.

What makes you a gentle man is your ability to keep your word. Learn to say what you mean and mean what you say (integrity). Many good relationships have been destroyed due to lack of integrity. A lot of guys borrow money from people only to disappear to another planet or stage a fight as a way to avoid paying back. I understand that sometimes things don’t turn out as planned; that's okay, as long as you let your friend know the situation of things (in all sincerity) and make efforts to pay back. If you have a business deal with people, always keep your own side of the deal. Your problem may not be from the "witches in your hometown"; your problem and downfall could be as a result of your inability to keep your words in business.

Being Lousy
I have "a friend" who I try my best to avoid communicating with simply because he is too lousy. This my so friend likes to show off . He wants you to know how much he spent to customize his rides, where he got his furniture from, how much he has for his summer holiday, the car he just gave his girlfriend, how many acres of land he built his house on, bla-bla-bla. Guys, these things aren’t necessary. People have lost their lives simply because they refuse to lead a quiet life. Don’t announce yourself, let your works do. Don't go on social media with pictures of your vehicles and houses; certain things should be personal. Don't announce the five star hotel you just checked into; you may end up losing your life. Real men are "smooth operators"; they keep it low and simple. 
Table Manners
Although you are smart and nice, other people will judge you on how you appear. Having proper table manners is one way people judge others, and you wouldn’t want people to think that you are uncivilized.
-Don’t talk with food in your mouth. Chew and swallow before talking. 
-Don't drink with food in your mouth.
-Don't use, at once, your spread all over the roll; cut bite sizes and apply your spread just before you eat.
-Remember to reduce the volume. So many men, unfortunately, don’t understand what voice management is.
-Keep the elbows off the table.
-It is wrong using toothpick in public. I see people, ladies in particular using one hand to cover their mouth while picking the teeth. If it bothers you that bad, excuse yourself and go the restroom. I was so used to toothpicks until a friend helped train me not to use it. It's twelve years since she did and I have successfully stayed off toothpicks. It’s a habit you have to break, the first seven days will be very tough for you but keep brushing morning and night, sure you will forget it. 
-Eat from one side of the plate, the side closest to your body.
-If you have a lady with you, stand up as she leaves the table for the bathroom, sit down again, and then stand once more when she returns. What? Yes, it's simple courtesy.
-Some men chew like goats. You need to train yourself to avoid embarrassment in public.
-Don’t use the egusi soup to decorate the pounded yam while eating. What's she talking about? Sure my African brothers understand. 
-When someone hosts you, please wait for your host to eat first before you do no matter how hungry you are.
-If you are African and on the table with an elderly person, our culture demands that you wait for him to take the lead.
-Depending on your location, loud belching could be embarrassing. But if you find yourself in a Chinese home, loud belching makes your host happy.
-Learn to say thank you at the end of every meal, your wife or girlfriend will be strengthened by that simple word. You brought the money, you didn’t do the cooking.
Wondering why your wife or girlfriend is avoiding dinner with you? Check and change your table manners. Your sense of decency is not determined by your pocket but by the good habits you are able to cultivate.
Part two comes next before we look at those annoying habits of ladies. 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. "-If you have a lady with you, stand up as she leaves the table for the bathroom, sit down again, and then stand once more when she returns. What? Yes, it's simple courtesy." sef know, deep within you, that this is pure fantasy!!

  3. Standing up sitting down and standing up again because
    She wants to use the rest room. That's taking it a bit too far.
    I appreciate manners but ...

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