Friday, February 12, 2016

What Does God Want? Suicide?

Good morning ma, I don't know if you will understand this cos I can't find the appropriate words but I think this should do...
I DON'T UNDERSTAND GOD! I just got to realise that good people suffer in His hands than the bad ones. I don't know if you are really going to understand cos you didn't understand my last message too and cos maybe this platform discuss mostly about marriage just only fourteen individuals commented and it was just only one person who got the message excluding you too.. (Read Here)!
Mrs Amara,well cos you are a good step mum to some kids over there doesn't really mean every step mum is good NO! I've got the most horrible one who want us to worship her even when my mum is still alive but separated from dad and what they built together... You won't understand just like I can't understand the man in heaven we call God,I just wonder if He is actually what the Bible and Koran call him or maybe..okay I got it...
I am a Muslim but I think most people here are Christians so I'm going to refer to Bible where it is written that he would show anyone He 'WISHES' his mercy sorry I can't quote it well but he created us all why can't he treat us equally okay if not equally at least not give us a miserable life to live,it would be better if I could just send voice note to you cos I know you have a heart that listens...
Right now, I am WEAK! Why? Cos mum who gives us strength is down herself she just lost her job exactly the same time I found out in school that I got a fake admission, my immediate younger bro who used to be a promising child joined bad group and started smoking living a nonchalant life. Well I know he lacks parental care.. We have been cool headed just like people do advise us,we have been praying but it's not just working,goodness!
This page can't contain this,right from when I was a kid I have been facing a lot of things that are beyond my age,step mum holds the remote to dad's head and now he is no longer picking my calls,a friend that i squat with is going for service so I moved to a male friend who already stays with his younger bro and sis in a room, I just spent a week with them and they are giving me attitude... When I moved in with my friend then we didn't have any problem,we behaved like sisters until I left work and used money that I ought to use for house rent as I promised for admission, she took care of me though for sometimes and when she got tired she introduced me to a man who she thought would be able to take care of me in return of sex, although I'm not a virgin but I refused well I was advised here to face studies instead of worry about men lolz...
She started bringing her man friends into the house for long and made me stay outside, cook clean the room, I mean all the chores except washing her clothes and I have been enduring that so far she feeds me sometimes,she tried though... Now I stay in a room with guys I barely know,their sister is an upcoming female artist and she spent time in studio and shows, no one to discuss things with,the guy that brought me here has changed although I lied to him I wouldn't spend more than a week knowing mum just lost her job, well I have been pretending to be good until I broke down in front of a mirror this morning crying so hard with no one to console me, I just felt too weak...
I've always looked forward to graduating,getting a good job dad promised and showing mum what her endurance worth but I'm stuck now... I submitted application letters to all those small organisations with my OND CV even to where I used to work but none has called, I can make leather bags,slippers and sandals, I also write novels but there is no one to help...
Now this was where I was heading, a man I met some years back who I hardly replied his text online asked to see me last weekend after a long chat and I complied, we met at the pool side of an hotel, he is not married though but I know he must have a fiancee and only want sex from me, i just played cool as if I knew nothing he promised heaven and earth, he drove me home and gave me N3000 which I'm still spending till now. I am to visit his house this weekend and I'm sure it won't be funny , so I ask WHAT DOES GOD WANTS? Is he trying to test our faith like he has been doing endlessly or what cos when this N3000 finishes I will have to starve cos mum is taking care of siblings at home with the little she has,even if I get a work now I still need to eat and money for transport...
I have seen wicked people get away with their sins except in movies isn't that encouraging? Good people suffer a lot why?... I have been using my phone for almost three years now and I make my few attire look like they are still new and many even though they are UK used clothes I snap with them with big smile and upload them online and make friends compliment them...
I am not perfect but at least I know I am a good girl to some extent so the question is WHAT DOES GOD WANTS maybe SUICIDE right?...Thank you

No matter the trials and circumstances that one maybe experiencing in life, none of them is beyond the power of God .
It may not be working as you planned it but everything is part of God's vision to prepare you and equip you with all you need to serve him and fulfil his purpose for your life.
I may not understand what you are experiencing at this point in your life but there is one who does and even when you feel that he doesn't really care or feel your pains, he's even closer than anyone else and will always make a way if only you can surrender your all to him.
While your father may not care and support you as much as he did in the past, choosing to offer your body for some cash back will not in anyway solve your problems nor will it add any value to your life.
Think about it, sleeping around may expose you to pregnancy and that would mean looking for more money to take care of yourself and your baby, you maybe exposed to sexually transmitted infections and that would be spending more money to treat yourself.
Instead of living like a prodigal daughter, it would be wiser for you to return home to your mother and let her know what you are experiencing in school even if you feel that your father won't assist you in any way.
When you are in your home, nobody will insult you or embarrass you nor will you be starving in the company of your mother. There is no harm in opening up to your mother at least and letting her know your challenges in school while you stay back and make your bags and sell them to generate funds.
No matter what you are experiencing today, always remember that it will never last forever and you need not consider committing suicide because you feel that God isn't merciful to you. It's better to run to him and hold unto him for the rest of your life.
It's time to admit that you cannot continue this way nor will you succeed should you choose to abuse your body for the sake of making money for your upkeep.



  2. Sweetheart what is ur location?
    If within Lagos, kindly click the 'reply' on my comments,tell me and drop me ur email address here. U can create a new email address for privacy.

  3. God doesn't want sucide from u. What u are experiencing is even beta than what others are.
    So dear u don't need to go back to that man,am a Muslim too and will like to help send me ur email.. I know u will get over it.besides stop squating around sch and go home. Face the shame now and start all over, forget ur dad and his step wife,face ur life and take the challenge that u can survive without ur dad.

  4. Dear Poster, The God I know, Jehovah, is good and interested in doing good to those that serve him diligently. All I have read is complaint, complaint and more complaint. Life in itself is challenging but how do you expect help when you can't rise above complaint. You have a mom that has shelter but can't feed you, go back to her. You want to go to school but you don't have anyone to help, look for a job even if it is work as a house help or cleaner. Just get busy doing something. Jehovah blesses the works of our hands but you must give him something to bless . As for clothes for 3 years, I recycled old clothes and could not even afford the barest okrika because my kids had to feed and go to school. Not a lot of people knew, my clothes never got old. That's God for you. We seem to see what God hasn't done ignoring His goodness. You are healthy, some people in your situation are down health-wise. Appreciate what you have and work hard. Forget pride and focus on God who can help you. It's well

  5. Dear Amara, i think now is the time to show this lady the true love of Christ which is giving.
    This lady needs more than advise she needs physical help and she needs the risen saviour.
    Talk is cheap, i see your picture where you donate bag of rice and cloths to charity. This is a charity case.
    I know you can't help everyone but i feel God is putting this one in your hand to save her soul(if you know what i mean)
    Please think about it.
    Thank you

  6. Great information. Thanks for providing us such a useful information. Keep up the good work and continue providing us more quality information from time to time. Love and Islam‬‬


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