Will my Kids Blame me in Future?

I met my husband when he came back for holiday and we talked and we started a relationship. He told me that he wants to marry me from day one, so I told him that I needed some time to think about it. After some months, I said yes because I saw some good qualities in him.
Unfortunately, after some months we had court wedding and I had my first child, story changed and he started bringing out his real character. I traveled and joined him thinking it was distance marriage problem, but the matter became worse. I got pregnant again with my second baby, after two months I left and with my first child and the pregnancy, he pleaded that I should forgive and come back, little did I know that he went back to his ex.
When I came back, he started misbehaving again, he showed me that his pleadings where not real. He doesn't have respect for me at all, he just want me around because of his kids. Everyday I feel sad and unhappy but he doesn't care, he even does the same behaviour to my people.
Am really tired, he is one man that doesn't care or pet his wife, he also calls his people and report to them anytime we disagree, he tells me to my face that am the greatest mistake he made in life. I feel caged, I want to move on but am afraid of my kids blaming me tomorrow.
The whole thing is not working, any day I wake up and remember that I am married, I feel sad.
Despite the age gap, he doesn't act mature when issues arise, there was a time he held my neck and the second time I ran out of the house and called the police. When the came, he lied to them and they left. He is too stubborn and only looks soft when he wants sex. He has buried the feeling, I don't have the urge anymore.


I wish that you expounded more on what made him hold your neck and what made you to run out of your house so that I can get a clearer picture of his psychological and emotional stability. 
That not withstanding, if in all sincerity your husband has grown to become a threat to your life and peace of mind, if he's physically violent and always crush you emotionally by constantly cheating on you with his ex or bringing strange women in your matrimonial home, please return back home so that your families can come in and intervene in your marriage. 
That you were his worst mistake only shows that he's actually a mistake as a person because it takes a confused man to make a confused decision.
If you are worried about what your children will say tomorrow now that you are breathing, I wonder what they will really say if they don't have you around in their life(God forbid), when you lead yourself to the grave by allowing your husband to pound and crush you as he so desires. 
Marriage is not by force but by choice and if he feels that you are no longer good enough for him, both of you can agree to go your separate ways and jointly cater for the needs of your children instead of punishing yourself in the name of marriage when you are actually miserable.