Sunday, August 28, 2016

My Mum is Having an Affair with Her Friend's Husband.

Good day aunty Amara, help me with this issue on my neck. I'm a 20 years old girl, first child of my mum, but second child of my dad. My dad is currently married to two women with my mum being the first. 
Recently, I found out
my mum was having an affair with her friend's husband. My dad found out about this not from me, and he overlooked it, and asked her to stop the affair immediately. 
I got back from school few weeks ago and found out that the affairs was going even deeper. I confronted her, and she said my dad offended her by getting married to the second wife without her consent that's why she's seeking happiness somewhere else. 
When I asked her why she chose her friend's husband, she said she did so to control any form of sexual relationship with him. 
Aunty am confused, she's not feeling reluctant about it at all, and she feels it's her right. Please help because it's affecting me psychologically. Thanks ma. 

I understand that a lot is going through your innocent and beautiful mind, and I also know that it's a difficult environment for you to learn the virtues of faithfulness, godliness, honesty, and good family virtues, but I don't want you to feel discouraged or bitter at what you are experiencing in your family. 
In the beginning God didn't ordain marriage to be where husband can have more than one wife or where a wife will boldly sleep with other men apart from her husband. 
God wanted sex to be solely between a man and his wife so that they won't expose themselves to the vices of the devil. 
God also wanted a man to love his imperfect wife in a perfect way and give his all to make her feel loved and appreciated by her husband. 
But you see, the devil planted the seed of infidelity which lead your father into getting married to another lady, and also lead your mother into sleeping with another man. 
The truth is that both your father and your mother are guilty of the same offence, and it is really painful watching your father and mother teach you what isn't God's purpose for marriage by their lifestyle. 
Because marriage is a covenant between a man and his wife, you do not have the right to interfere in their choices and decisions, rather what you can only do is pray for your mother and your father, and ask God to save them from their ungodly lifestyle. 
On your part, I will encourage you not to allow the attitude of your mother in her marriage to affect your perception and convictions about marriage or have a wrong impression of marriage and men in general. 
But let this be an opportunity for you to study the word of God and understand the mind of God concerning marriage, and understand what is God's purpose for marriage, who are eligible for marriage, how to prepare yourself for marriage, and how you can support your husband in marriage. 
The beauty of this exposure is that you can learn from the mistakes of your parents and choose not to follow their footsteps in your own marriage. 
Please do not be afraid or be discouraged because of your mother's lifestyle, it's only an evidence that she's a human with imperfections and weaknesses, but always make out time to pray for her, and appreciate her for being your mother. 
It is not in your place to judge her decisions because you have no idea the battles she has fought before you realised what was going on in their marriage. You have no idea what she has endured in the course of their marital journey, and it will only be unfair to judge her without considering the psychological and emotional effect your father's decision had on her. 
Please pray for her, and allow God to fix that which is beyond your capacity and control.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)