Friday, October 7, 2016

My Family Is Pressurising Me To Marry.

Good morning ma, I just want to pour out my heart to you. Sorry, it will be long, have tried to write to you a lot of times, but I couldn't. Am going through a lot, my family is putting me under pressure, financially, maritally, job wise.

Am a graduate, this month made it one year that I served. Since I came back, have been sad cos my mother reminds me every time that I don't have a job. At 29 I don't even have a man, the one I had told me sex is a must before marriage, when I said no, he left.
Right now, I need a change of environment and am an introvert, I don't even know people or friends. Have Been submitting applications, but not called. Am scared, I think it's near success syndrome and am praying against it. Sometimes, I feel like calling that guy and give him sex so he will marry me and I will leave this place, but he doesn't love me. Please advice me, am really hurting and always crying, I believe I don't deserve this because I am a believer and a good girl.

I agree with you that you don't deserve what you are experiencing in your journey and I pray that God will give you an everlasting testimony and breakthrough in Jesus name Amen. 
Because you have devoted your life to honor God, I know that he will favour you and create ways of prosperity and blessings in your life. 
Now you need to exercise your faith in God by changing your mindset from seeking for employment to producing fruits that will generate wealth for you. 
You can enrol for a vocational training that you cherish, or go into agricultural production like fish farming, pig farm, poultry, sheep or even goat rearing. You can work on rural urban business, where you buy goods and products in the rural communities and sell them in the city. 
You may venture into service delivery programmes like tutorials, teaching, or any other services that you are competent in. 
I will not discourage you from applying for jobs but the honest truth is that there is limited or no opportunities out there, and even the ones available is on referral basis, which places qualified individuals like you in a disadvantaged position if you don't have anyone that will recommend you for the job. 
One of the challenges that good ladies have is that they are always good in their bedroom and nobody gets to meet with them. 
They'll see great forums where they can share their ideas but they will prefer to isolate themselves from the 'world', they're unfriendly and reserved, some will criticise others but will do nothing. 
The Bible says that a light that is hidden under the bushel has no value because it won't give light to the room. A salt without taste is useless in any meal. The hallmark of Christianity is in living the life and not in preaching the Bible. 
I'm glad that you are a Christian and a good girl, and I'm also proud of you for preserving your body, but sister in Christ, you need to live out your convictions. You need to put yourself out there to be found, you need to speak up to be heard. 
While some of you are busy liking the comments of others, some responsible men are busy looking out for their wives from her comments. You need to let your life become a blessing to others. 
If you have the privilege to change your environment, please do, but wherever you find yourself, let your light shine, let your humility and sincerity speak in your service to others. Dressing without make-up or jewelries or trousers is not what makes you a Christian or a good girl, your attitude to others, your communication skills, your honesty, and your firm conviction in the word of God is what makes you different from others. 
Since you can't attend worldly parties, attend camping programmes, Christian conferences, singles programmes, and events where you can interact with others and network with others. There is also an anointing to locate your husband in such a holy gathering. 
Don't sit in your bedroom and read your Bible only while your husband is busy praying for you at the camp. Ruth left her comfort zone and found her husband where she was working. 
I know that the pressure is so much on you and I pray that God will give you your own husband in no distant future and bless you with a good job. 
Please don't give sex in exchange for a marriage promise, there's nothing binding you with such a man, he will only enjoy your body, perhaps give you more responsibility by getting you pregnant and then move on with his life. 
Any may who brings sex before love is only in love with your body and not your heart, be wise and beware.
Again, you need to know the man behind his promise, you need to grow in friendship with a man before thinking of marriage with him. Getting married is not the most important thing, but meeting a man who has the values, virtues and attributes that you desire in your husband.

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