Saturday, October 8, 2016

Should I Wait For My Fiancé Or Move On With My Life?

Good day Aunty Amara please I need your help not just as a member of the great forum but as a daughter.
I have been dating my fiancé for three years, he works with the federal government in one of the uniform job, his salary isn't much, he has lot's of family burden on him, and he's
the one training his four younger ones. Am a graduate, am into business, I have my own design of clothes I make.
He promised marriage since last year, have just been faithful and patient with him not until he told me that his mum said he shouldn't settle down with me yet until he's done training his younger ones.
Ma'am am 27 years, the first out of two girls, my mum will be turning 60 years next year and I promised myself that her birthday gift will be a son-in-law and a grandchild, I don't know if my wishes are too much. He's a nice guy, he loves me so much, he tries to meet up with my needs, he's a nice being I don't know how to wait anymore.
Recently a family friend helped me to secure a job in one of the communications company, and he has been asking for my hands in marriage, I told him to give me time to think about it cause right now I don't know if am to wait for my fiancé of three to four years or am to move on with my life. I don't want to make a mistake in marriage, the other guy is well to do but he's too proud of his achievement.
Am a product of a broken home, I don't want to go through what my mum went through. Please I need your advice and prayer ma'am, God bless you I love you.

The most difficult, important, sensitive, and challenging task in preparing for marriage is in finding the partner that you are comfortable with, and once you have found him, both of you can work together and resolve whatever maybe any pending issues in your relationship.
From your mail, I carefully observed that both of you are under the influence of the same person. His mother told him not to marry until he has finished training his younger ones in the school, while on your own part you wish to impress your own mother by bringing anything or anyone called man as long as he's willing to marry you and bear the tag of her son-in-law, and hopefully have a child for him.
I will suggest that you quit looking for another man and work out how both of you can start a family together with little or no delay. Though I may not entirely know why his mother feels that he shouldn't get married now but I don't think that supporting his siblings should be the reason why he shouldn't marry and raise his own family.
So let him know how you feel about the whole thing and find out exactly what his plans and vision are for the relationship so that you don't wait endlessly without hope of getting married. If possible you may encourage him to write to me here so that I can have a word or two with him.
Leaving your fiancé for a financier may look impressive in the beginning but it may backfire especially if he doesn't have those enduring qualities that strengthens marriage institution.
You don't need to lose hope in your relationship because you want to impress your mother, remember that your happiness and fulfilment in marriage depends greatly on your choice of partner and not the age or the time that you got married.

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