Saturday, October 8, 2016

What Should I Do To Succeed in Marriage?

I recently got introduced to your page by my fiancée and honestly am so in love with the way you advice. Aunty am writing because I don't know how to love my man, he's so into me and I can see his affection towards me.
I cry so much cos I feel I don't love him the way he deserves,
there's nothing he doesn't do for me and am not exaggerating. We are getting married in few weeks time, my fears are;
Will he stop loving me?
Will I make a good wife for him?
How can I love him same measure?
Please advice a sister please I don't want to fail in my marriage. I have prayed and is still praying that God sees my heart.
Thanks so much as I await your response.

Nobody prepares for marriage hoping to fail but not everyone prepares with the right mindset and purpose for marriage. 
Marriage is not a man's design but God's design, and anyone who wish to succeed in marriage must as a matter of necessity have a close relationship with God, because he's the only one who gives couples the grace to succeed in marriage. 
Though some may not believe this but I will say it nonetheless that anyone who doesn't have a personal relationship with God has a high tendency to fail in marriage because virtually all that a partner needs to succeed in marriage is the same virtues he or she needs to make heaven. 
Nobody can love if God doesn't break the heart of selfishness and wickedness, and give such an individual a compassionate heart that cares, gives, supports, and appreciates the good in others. 
So the first thing you must do is not to temporarily pray that your marriage succeeds but to consciously and consistently commune with God and ask for his grace and wisdom to love your husband selflessly. 

Secondly, there is nothing that a man cherishes so much like respect. You will see a small boy raging in anger when he's talking to a little girl, and you will hear him something like "it's as if you don't have respect for me?", it goes a long way to show that even from their childhood they don't joke with respect.
Your respect for your husband reflects in your choice of words, in the manner in which you approach everything with him, and how you communicate with him. He loves you so much and that's a great testimony, but he also desires that you don't compare him with another man, expose his weaknesses and shortcomings to others, nag consistently about his inadequacies, leave him in difficult times, do things without making him part of it, or do those things that he's not comfortable with. This is what is called understanding your husband. 

Some say that good food is a way to a man's heart, I don't disagree with them but I can tell you with all confidence that there's no food that tastes better than a quality sexual intercourse with your husband. 
If you want a man to be as loving and selfless and understanding, and generous as possible, then you need to lavish him with quality sex. If you want to massage his ego and win his affection, give his penis quality attention. If you wish to get something great from him, please give him the best part of your body. Don't always be the one demanding that he sucks, and lick your clitoris, also do something unique for him, suck his nipples, and his penis. Be real, be you and work with him so that both of you can recreate a sexual world where love meets with passion for each other. 

Because both of you are different individuals with different personalities and perception of life. Both of you cannot see things in the same way and manner, sometimes your husband may find it difficult to understand your opinions or position, sometimes he maybe selfish in his endeavours (for some men though), he may tend to impose his opinion on you and leave you with no option but to comply. Sometimes there maybe a misunderstanding, a discussion that went south or an action that hurt him. These are part of marriage so don't panic when you experience any of these, rather learn to listen, learn and share your thoughts or opinions with him when necessary.
The bonding phase for new couple maybe slow, difficult, and less exciting unlike preparing for wedding, but it's normal way of readjusting to the realities of your marriage. Be open to surprises because your handsome husband will give you loads of them after wedding.

Avoid any form of third party in your marriage, your parents, friends, pastors, and colleagues shouldn't run your marriage for you. But you and your husband should work with each other and find out what works for both of you. It's always better if both of you communicate your plans with each other before executing them. 
Whenever there's any conflict or disagreement, please resolve it with your husband before going to bed. Marriage is a whole lot better when there's no malice, you can't take anger to bed and expect to have peace of mind with your husband. 

Forgiveness must be in constant supply for you to enjoy your marriage, because there will be times when you may need his attention but he may not understand you, there may be some times that he will unintentionally hurt you and you may feel bad, there may be some times when your hormones may get the better part of you and your husband may have little or no idea what you're dealing with or how to support you. In those times, please take an overdose of forgiveness and choose to forgive him in advance. 

Be transparent, truthful, faithful, honest, and selfless in relating with your husband knowing fully well that he's your leader and your head in your marriage. 
I may not predict what the dynamics of your home may look like but with mutual understanding and commitment, there's nothing that both of you cannot resolve together.

Proclaim your convictions in your marriage. If you want your husband to love you like he never does, proclaim it. If you desire that your marriage will succeed, proclaim it. If you want your husband to melt in your arms, proclaim it. Give no room for doubts and fears in your marriage. Though there are some horrible homes but it doesn't mean that you should expect the same in your marriage, but use your mouth to declare the kind of marriage that you desire, and God will grant your heart desires. 

No marriage is without its own peculiarities and no individual is without any limitation or shortcoming. Good wife and great husband is a work in progress and a lifetime journey that will expose both of you to the highs, lows, and the intermediaries of life. As you grow in love with him, you will readjust to his kind of woman and also influence him to become your kind of man. Allow time and God to groom both of you into the kind of partners that both of you are proud of. 
In good times, thank God, in not so good times, be hopeful, and in bad times, embrace God.

Let the word of God guide you in all your endeavours in your marriage, study Ephesians 4 and 5 with your fiancé, and ask God for the grace to build a home where God reigns.
There are many vices and devices of the devil fighting against every marriage, it comes in form of infidelity, distrust, anger, competitions, external interference, or the challenges of marriage. You need to always be on guard in your marriage by consciously and consistently praying for your marriage, for your husband and with your husband. 
Some partners make the mistake of leaving God out of their marriage and then return to him when the devil creeps in. The best approach is to always pray for your marriage, pray for your children, pray for your husband, and pray against any strange spirit that may affect your marriage or your husband.

Thank God who have started this great work in your life and I pray that he will give you the grace, wisdom, understanding, maturity and the capacity to love you husband, support him, pray for him, and help him prosper in all his life endeavours in Jesus name Amen. 


  1. This is a true guideline for a successful marriage. Thank you ma for these words of wisdom.

  2. Lady Amara, you have said it all.

  3. Wow! The best advise ever. It's not just for the poster but for every singles. Thanks a bunch. More of God's wisdom.


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