Tuesday, February 7, 2017

What Should I Do to Enjoy Sex?

Good morning Aunt Amara,more grace.

Please I would want you and your people to look into this and possible get a solution (Lord I pray I get a solution this time).

I don't enjoy sex,I don't feel anything, the only thing I know during love making is that a penis is in my vagina.
My clitoris is just there for decoration. I have met different doctors and spoken to a whole lot of people, what I kept hearing is it has to do with your mind (very annoying). I have worked on my mind, concentrated, have had the best foreplay, fell in love, and have received the best sex, still I don't feel any pleasure. I do get wet and turned on, I have taken various aphrodisiac and even herbal concoction, I have read for possible solution done a lot of researches still no solution. Somehow I have given up and now hate sex .

From the look of it, I think mine is a hormonal problem, my nerves are not functional. A lady once told me hers was hormonal and a doctor in PH gave her some medications and she's okay now, I have begged her to link me up but she kept acting somehow I gave up on her.

My people help your beautiful sister, recommend a sex therapist or a doctor that knows about sexual hormonal issue.

Is there anyone who has had same issue and got a solution please can you share how you got your solution. I just want to enjoy sex like every other person and this is affecting my relationship. Thanks and God bless.

PS.. I was never raped, wasn't circumcised, it's not psychological and I have received the best sex on earth. Due to this I had to learn how masturbate, luckily I do have orgasm but before I orgasm I have to squeeze all my muscle and it is usually painful.

I'm only confused with one thing you said, you said that you have had the best sex on earth, yet you don't enjoy sex at all. If you don't enjoy sex with a man, what then makes it the best sex ever? That's left for you to figure out. 
I was careful to study your mail and digest every detail you penned down, and I will do my best to share the facts with you. 

From your mail I deduced the following... 

  • You get aroused 

  • You get wet 

  • You experience orgasm with masturbation 

If you get wet and get aroused, then your problem is not hormonal but psychological. You may not agree with my view but I'm just going to share my thoughts and allow you decide what's best for you to do. 
When you don't experience arousal or wetness, and when sex irritates you, maybe we can attribute it to hormonal imbalance especially if you're on a drug that perhaps hamper your sexual drive. 

That you experience orgasm with masturbation is also a great sign that you can achieve your desire to enjoy sex with a man. 

Now, here is my suggestion on what you should consider before having sex with a man. 

Go for the kind of man you are attracted to. 
If you're attracted to tall, dark, broad chest, and red lips man, please go for him. If you're attracted to men with big penis, or men with bow leg or men with deep voice, please go for such a man. 
Some women may have higher volume of testosterone in comparison with estrogen which may make them desire specific kind of men compared to others. 

For you to enjoy sex with a man, you need to connect with him and share the same passion and enthusiasm for sex with him. In a scenario where there's no connection or passion with your sexual partner, you cannot enjoy sex with him. 

Masturbation has helped you discover the erogenous zone inside your vagina in addition to other erogenous part of your body. 
You will need to help your sex partner know those areas and part of your body that makes you feel on top of the world, you need to guide your partner to understand how your body works and what tickles you the most. 
If stroking your gspot works wonders for you, then you need to consider woman on top , doggy position or spoon position which allows the man to strike the gspot much more than any other part of your vagina.
Banging a woman for a long period of time doesn't guarantee that she will enjoy sex with her mate, so you need to redefine sexual intercourse from long lasting to connecting with your partner.
No matter the aphrodisiacs you consume, none is as effective as a relaxed mind that connects with her partner. It's just natural, you don't need to force it, you just need to flow with your passion. 
Getting too worried about not enjoying sex can ruin your sexual experience, having unattainable expectations about sex can also ruin sexual intercourse. 
You may also need to check if you're on any medication that inhibits your sexual drive and sexual enjoyment. 
Take your time, don't rush this, build a stable relationship with a man that you love, watch your sexual experience with him. If there's no appreciable improvement, then you may consider meeting with a sex therapist for further diagnosis.

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