Thursday, May 4, 2017

How Do I Express My Feelings for Him?

Good morning Aunty Amara. May God continue to increase you in wisdom.
Am 25 years old and I have a degree. I have complicated love life. I believe in keeping the marriage bed undefiled.
I have dated some who thinks am old school to keep such a value at this age and time but recently I met a guy who wants me to drop all those values for him. I realized I will end up not recognizing myself again. I also discovered he has a girlfriend, I refused to be plan B for any man; I walked out.
Now I realised I have always liked one guy all along, he's a Christian and believes in keeping the same values just like me. I knew him immediately I finished secondary school although we don't talk like we do now and after we lost contact.
Four years ago he found me on social media, we started talking. We left no stones unturned when we talk... From family, academics, Church and we even discuss relationship issues.
He has been persistent for the past four years, and he is the only guy I have liked for eight years and every attributes I prayed for is in him. He is not in any relationship presently and neither am I.
Am confused about his overly caring attitude. Someone said he's just been nice and considering our culture, and can't tell him I like him. What should I do?
I hope I will get a response in few hours, God bless your ministry.

Does it make you happy? Do you feel fulfilled doing it? Do you think about it so often? Does it add value to your well-being? Do you find peace and contentment doing it? If the answer to these questions is yes, then you don't need to subject yourself to the opinions of others while punishing yourself emotionally. 
He's nice to you and have been persistent with you because there are attributes in your personality that attracts him to you. Pretending not to love him will only hurt you more, and at the same time make you make so much assumptions where you ought to seek clarifications. 
Since you love him, please subtly let him know that you admire him and respect his personality. Be open to him and ask him if he has intentions to date you or perhaps build a future with you. 
There are two ways to express your feelings to him, either by asking him about his relationship and the babe he's admiring, and using the proxy to find out if he's really interested in you, or by openly letting him know what you feel for him, and what he thinks about you. 
This will help you to redefine the friendship and at the same time prepare yourself for the future. 
The worst thing that will happen to a lady is not being rejected but hanging out with a man who doesn't share the same future with her. It's either he's with you or he's a Christian flirt who is fellowshiping with many sisters but not yet convinced of who to commit himself to. 
But don't allow culture or perception to limit you from expressing your feelings to the very man that you truly love, please do yourself that favour. 

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