Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Ever Since I Got Pregnant, He's been Acting Strange!

Aunty Amara well-done for your good work, please I need your advice.
A man came to marry me and along the line I got pregnant, and he went further to pay my bride price. He was given list to perform the traditional marriage but instead he kept mute complaining that the list is too much, that he is not ready for it, that he will do it anytime he like either in three or five years time.
Because of this issue, my parents refused me to go and stay with him, and I also told him I can't stay with him without performing the traditional marriage.
Because of this decision, he started to act anyhow, he does not give me money for my upkeep, even to the extend of refusing to give me money for baby items.
Honestly am confused.
How am I going wrong in this issue?

Was this marriage plans induced by pregnancy or by deep conviction that he genuinely wanted to marry you? If he sincerely loved you and wanted to marry you, I feel that his approach will be a little different from what he's doing at the moment. 
Looking at your mail, he has already paid your bride prize which traditionally is the most significant aspect of your marriage to him. 
In all sincerity, after the bride prize has been paid, you are meant to join him with/without fulfilling the traditional terms and conditions. 
However, here is what I suggest, encourage him to visit your family, and have a heart to heart discussion with your parents. I'm hopeful that they will allow you to join him. 
Where that is not feasible, then I will suggest that you remain with your parents and focus on your pregnancy and health, not marriage. 
It's safer and more convenient for you to remain with your family, to avoid the unnecessary friction that comes with marriage induced by pregnancy. 
When you put to bed, you may then decide if he's really who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Do not be in a hurry to marry a man simply because you were pregnant for him, take some time to examine your relationship aside the pregnancy, and remember that your happiness matters much more than having children for a man.

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