Monday, July 24, 2017

Should I Abort my Baby?

Good morning Aunty Amara. I have been a follower of your page for some time now. Please I really need your help because I am so depressed and devastated right now.
I met a guy through a friend of mine May this year. He is 33 and I am 27, he told me he wanted to marry me. He pleaded that I should be his girlfriend and before this year ends, he will come and see my people so that by next year we should start having our kids together. He took me to his house and he also demanded that I show him my house, which I did and he also came to our shop.
I noticed he was the stingy type because even when I visited him at home, he doesn't give me any money. So I decided not to ask thinking he was just trying me.
Within this short period, he already met everybody in my immediate family but I never met any of his because they were not in Benin.
The second time I visited his house, he told me his mother was inside. I insisted I go greet her but he refused telling me she's sleeping and that there's no rush cos I will get plenty more opportunity to see her.
He started asking me for sex and I told him not until we are married cos I don't want to make any mistake. He promised I will not regret dating him that he even wanted me to get pregnant for him after which we can take a month to prepare our wedding.
So the next time we saw, he begged me to have sex with him and I told him I was ovulating and having sex with him will result to pregnancy, and he told me,  'yes he wants me to be pregnant and that will be his greatest joy'. I foolishly accepted and now I am pregnant.
I told him I missed my period and he said that means I am pregnant. I told him I wasn't sure that I needed to go for a pregnancy test and he told me not to waste my money on any test that he is very sure I am pregnant. I still went for the test with my money and it came out positive and when I told him he was so happy about it.
Only for him to tell me on Friday that he was coming to my mum's shop to see me and I told him I was alone at the shop and when he got there he told me to come pick him. I pleaded with him that I am attending to customers, that he should please come on his own.
He just flared up and started complaining that I know he doesn't like entering the market and that he came because of me. I told him okay, please when I finish attending to the present customer I will come pick him up.
When I got there, I didn't see him. I called him several times, he didn't answer. After some time, I went back to the shop. Then he called me and started quarreling that he left his office and I kept him waiting outside the market, maybe I wanted him to lose his job.
I tried explaining to him that I came, I called but he just dropped the call on me. Throughout that Friday, he refused taking my calls. I kept calling till late at night but he didn't answer, so I decided to use a number he doesn't know and he answered immediately, and when he heard my voice, he told me he was sleeping and then he dropped the call.
The following morning being Saturday, I went to his house and he told me he has forgotten everything that he was only being angry with himself for abandoning his work and coming to disturb me when he knew I should be busy helping my mom.
After discussing all that I now asked him the way forward with the pregnancy, and he told me to go abort it since it's still very early, that his siblings are coming home by November. By then we will do the introduction and the wedding, after which I can get pregnant again. That he just wanted to see if I am fertile as well as him. Now that he knows we can always plan but I must not keep this baby.
I pleaded with him but he said he won't change his mind and since I left since Saturday afternoon, I have not heard from him. I am so confused. I just finished my Master's degree program and I don't have a job yet. I don't know how I am going to cope being a single mom or should I go ahead and abort the baby and forget him.
Please ma, I really need your advice because right now I feel like committing suicide. I don't think I can cope with this pregnancy, and I don't want to abort because I am scared.

I wish you wrote to me when you were high in love with him. Well, from what you can now see, it's obvious that what he wanted was to 'test your body' and dump you. 
In less than two months of meeting you, he fixed the wedding date, planned the wedding program, and met with every of your family members. Sis, the huzzle for free s€× is real, and your so called boyfriend was just working hard for a free session with you. 
Painfully, you are the one who will bear the brunt of this irresponsible romance he had with you. 
I won't encourage you to abort your child, it could take your life, or destroy your womb or even make you barren for life. 
Instead I will suggest that you enroll for antenatal care, and let your family know that you are pregnant. 
There is a need for you to inform his family of your pregnancy, then start now to work on a business or job that will help you raise some funds that you need to cater for your baby.
Any man who encourages you to abort his child doesn't wish you well nor should you have anything to do with such an individual. 
It is painful that you chose to be taught by experience, but I believe that it will make you wiser, better, and stronger. 
I am not going to condemn you for not spotting his evil intentions, but I hope you won't fall into this mess again. 
Seek the face of God for healing and forgiveness, and I am so sure that God will provide all you need to take care of yourself and your baby.

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