Thursday, August 17, 2017

How Do I Confront my Parents about His Intention?

Thanks for the word of wisdom and advice you have been giving people like me. We appreciate your effort. The able Lord will make you happy and solve your hidden and known problems.
Ma I need your advice. I am 20 years in my second year in the university and dating a guy of 28 years. He's the first male child of his parents. We've been dating for over a year now. My boyfriend is okay financially and has a good job.
The problem I have now is that his parents are putting pressure on him to get married and even gave him time limit which is maximum of December 2019, but ma I don't know how to confront my parents with this cos I'll be in my final year then. His family knows me and I do go there to spend weekends with them and with the little time, I am sure they like me but my parents don't know him, though he is planning to come this December to see them. I don't know how to confront my parents with his coming and wedding plan and he said once my parents disagree with our marriage in two years, then he'll break up with me this year ending.
Please ma, I don't want to be heart broken. What should I do?

No matter how loving your partner may be, please do not rush into marriage because of any external pressure or influence. 
Secondly, be careful with a man who is greatly influenced by his parents. I am not in any way saying that it's bad for his parents to suggest when he should be married, however if he doesn't care about your own life because he wants to meet up with his parents timing, he may never adhere to your suggestions. 
All I could understand from your mail is that his parents is pushing him to marry, and he in turn wants to push you so that you can push your parents to allow you marry him. 
Here are some questions I feel you should answer for yourself. 
When do you want to get married? 
What are the plans both of you have made with respect to this marriage? 
How well do you know this man? 
Apart from having money, does he have the maturity and emotional capacity for marriage? 
Can you really say that he's your best friend and companion? 
Can you say that you are prepared for marriage? 
What happens to your academics after wedding? 
What plans does he have for you? 
Will babies come immediately after wedding? 
What will you be doing after graduation? 

As much as I am excited that you are about getting married to a rich man, I am of the opinion that you take your time to build your friendship with him. 
Before you get to final year, you will definitely know whether he's what you need in your husband. 

You can talk to your mum about your relationship, and she will make things easier for you and your dad. If he wants to meet your parents, there is no crime in doing that, but don't allow anyone push you into marriage simply because his parents told him to do so. Be in charge of your decision and make sure you are emotionally, mentally, spiritually and, if possible, financially prepared for marriage.

1 comment:

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